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Discouraging names and themes for casino slot machines

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Album of the Year #24: Run The Jewels - RTJ4

Artist: Run The Jewels
Album: RTJ4
Date Released: June 3rd, 2020
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Artist Background
The duo consisting of Atlanta rapper Killer Mike, and legendary underground produceMC El-P, known together as Run The Jewels, originally came together as a result of Adult Swim executive Jason DeMarco who introduced the two in 2011. After his 2011 album PL3DGE peaked at #115 on the US charts, Killer Mike told Jason that he wanted to make his own AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted. Jason informed Mike, “If you want AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted modernized, the only producer I know who comes close to the Bomb Squad-level of production is El-P”. The duo’s chemistry was immediate, as El-P went on to produce all of Killer Mike’s 2012 last solo album R.A.P. Music, and Mike featured on El-P’s final solo album Cancer 4 Cure. Mike and El’s respective albums released within a week of each other in May 2012, and the two embarked on a twenty-city US tour in the following months. After returning from tour, the pair had found a friendship growing between themselves, and made the decision to put other projects on hold and focus on the chemistry that had been sparked. Recording at an upstate NY studio beginning in April 2013, the duo re-appropriated the phrase “Run The Jewels” from the LL Cool J track “Cheesy Rat Blues", and released their self-titled collaborative album, for free via digital download, only a mere 2 months later in June 2013.
36” Chain vs. Pistol & Fist
Run The Jewels discography currently exists in a distinct pairing. With Run The Jewels as their debut, this record set the group's tone as a light-hearted, braggadocious duo with as much confidence in their abilities as swag in their punchlines. Just over a year later, the sequel Run The Jewels 2 took the foundation set from their freshman effort and dialed the insanity up to 11. RTJ2 pushed the boundaries of their aggression and flows to new heights; with incredible energy in their verses, and absolutely impeccable beats, blending El-P’s signature industrial sound with sharp synth arpeggios, chopped Zach De La Rocha vocals, and absolutely bonkers Travis Barker drums.
It was then nearly 3 years before Jamie and Mike followed up their breakout RTJ2, with Run The Jewels 3 being released again ahead of its scheduled release date via free digital download, this time on Christmas Eve 2016. Instead of these two attempting to outdo the pure insanity and in-your-face attitude found in their predecessor, Mike and El decide to evolve themselves as a group. The duo had noticeably pulled back on the swag and dick jokes which made such a splash on RTJ2, instead choosing a more subdued, electronic approach to their beats, as well as a clearly stronger political approach in their lyrics. This change in sound and style is demonstrated in the album cover’s artwork. The first two records featured the distinctive RTJ “Pistol and Fist”, with the fist tightly gripping a chain. The chain, in my opinion, represents the swag and braggadocio that drove the aggressive nature of their first two albums. In RTJ3 the chain is removed, leaving only hands that have transformed from bleeding and bandaged, to a pristine gold.
This brings us to early 2020. It’s been nearly 4 years of living in a post-Trump America, and El-P announces that Run The Jewels fourth record has been completed. Mike and El live-stream the first single “yankee and the brave” on Instagram on March 22nd, 2020. Lyrically and sonically, RTJ4 exists as the successor to Run The Jewels 3, with Mike and El again taking the good from their previous effort and launching it into the creative stratosphere. El-P’s beats are again leaning towards the synthetic, electronic side, this time with the intensity dialed all the way up to 11. From a lyrical perspective, RTJ takes the politically-charged lyrics from their predecessor, and again, up the ante, laying down some of the hardest hitting and politically poignant bars either of these two have ever spit.
Album Review
2020 was a year that none of us will soon forget. An unprecedented global health crisis kept the majority of us inside for months at a time. RTJ4 was announced on May 12th, 2020, with a release date slated for June 5th, 2020. However, with 2020 as the gift that won’t stop giving, the end of May was highlighted by the unjust killing of George Floyd. The phrase heard around the world, “I can’t breathe” instantly became a rally-cry for the oppressed to finally take to the streets to demand systemic police reform, as Floyd’s death was not the first time this phrase was uttered in an unjust police killing. In fact, a 2020 study by the New York Times showed that at least 70 people have died in police custody after using the same phrase over the past decade. As millions of American’s began organizing protests and demonstrations in the wake of Floyd’s death, Run The Jewels made the decision to release their latest chapter two days ahead of the scheduled release. El-P tweeted, just minutes ahead of the drop, “Fuck it, why wait. The world is infested with bullshit, so here’s something raw to listen to while you deal with it all. We hope it brings you some joy. Stay safe and hopeful out there and thank you for giving 2 friends the chance to be heard and do what they love”. In line with all past Run The Jewels releases, the album was made available for free digital download, two days ahead of its scheduled release date, on June 3rd, 2020.
THE RETURN (we don’t mean no harm but we truly mean all the disrespect)
RTJ4 opens with the first single, “yankee and the brave (ep. 4)”. Using the team names from their respective hometown baseball teams, Mike and El use the opening track to prove that they’re not just a hip-hop duo, they’re brothers, for better or worse. El-P kicks this installment off with rapid-fire, machine-gun esque snares, matching Killer Mike’s aggressive flow and tightly packed rhymes, before El jumps in to trade some dense rhymes as well. Mike and El depict themselves as outlaws, with Mike surrounded by cops with only one bullet remaining. He contemplates suicide instead of allowing the police to take him alive, until El-P jumps back in, offering Mike a way out, with a getaway car waiting outside. This tense situation is depicted lightheartedly in this song’s music video, which was released via Adult Swim and features the duo animated.
The trade-off between Mike and El’s short verses are reminiscent of late-80’s EPMD flows, while the production sounds like boom-bap that’s been sent to us from the future. This distinctive blend of old-school rap roots and forward thinking production is what continues to separate Run The Jewels from absolutely all of their contemporaries. While so many artists are continually playing catch-up with the latest trends, RTJ are side-stepping the trendy and moving forward with the mind-bending.
FLEXIN’ (ayo one for mayhem, two for mischief)
The second single “ooh la la” samples a Gang Star track "DWYCK (feat. Nice & Smooth)" as the basis for the chorus. I say “samples” as that’s how it is credited in the album’s liner notes, however it’s truly an interpolation of Greg Nice’s bar, slowed down slightly, and sung by El-P and Greg Nice himself. El-P is a true old-head at heart, and it’s abundantly obvious in his work, even going as far as to recruit legendary producer DJ Premiere to handle the scratching on the back end of this banger.
Out of key piano chords are looped to quickly create an unsettling aura surrounding the track, before El-P’s voice cuts through the infectious piano like a whip. Pounding, up-tempo drums are introduced after the chorus’ first iteration, creating what is possibly El-P’s first danceable beat. Lyrically, Mike and El-P initially seem scattered on this track, however the music video quickly makes their point very obvious.
”we imagined the world on the day that the age old struggle of class was finally over. a day that humanity, empathy and community were victorious over the forces that would separate us based on arbitrary systems created by man.
this video is a fantasy of waking up on a day that there is no monetary system, no dividing line, no false construct to tell our fellow man that they are less or more than anyone else. not that people are without but that the whole meaning of money has vanished. that we have somehow solved our self created caste system and can now start fresh with love, hope and celebration. its a dream of humanity’s V-DAY… and the party we know would pop off.”
The video envisions a society celebrating the fact that the class system we currently exist within has finally imploded. Money is worthless, and we have rejected the desire to bind ourselves to the constraints of capitalism. All creeds and colors unite to burn the system that has so effectively controlled us for over a century. It’s a party, and if there was a song to celebrate the end of the world as it is currently known, “ooh la la” is that song.
Mike’s last verse features a few metaphors and comparisons celebrating the destruction of capitalism, saving the most poignant for last:
I used to love Bruce, but livin' my vida loca
Helped me understand I'm probably more of a Joker
When we usher in chaos, just know that we did it smiling
Cannibals on this island, inmates run the asylum
Premo’s expertly cut scratches lead us into the equally hard hitting sample flip of “Misdemeanor”, by Foster Stevens as the basis for the beat to “out of sight”. Lending yet another nod to the old-school greats that laid the foundation for RTJ, “out of sight” samples the same track as The D.O.C.’s “It’s Funky Enough”, only adding a bouncy, electronic synth atop the inverted chord hits, and uptempo, industrial drums, to create an absolutely infectious groove for Mike and El’s dynamic chemistry to shine, rapidly jumping between each other’s two line flows in the first verse.
“out of sight” shows each MC providing insight into how each of them earned a living and achieved their current status. Mike and El’s opening verse each details themselves robbing people in order to eat. El alludes to the fact that he crossed his accomplices in crime for the whole bag, while Mike details the fact his assailant tells him it’s an “honor” to be robbed by his mother’s only son.
While El-P’s production is the obvious stand out on first listen, Killer Mike comes through with one of the most sonically pleasing and technically proficient verses of 2020.
We the motivating, devastating, captivating
Ghost and Rae relating product of the fuckin' '80s
Coke dealin' babies, never regulating, bag accumulating
It would not be overstating to say they are underrating
The pride of Brooklyn and the Grady, baby
We don't need no compliments or confidence
Our attitude and latitude is "fuck you, pay me"
The dense, intricate rhyme schemes smack you in the face, almost distracting you from Mike’s delivery and blistering flow on the verse; flexing his legendary status while paying homage to his drug-dealing past. This absolutely stunning display of technical skill, story telling, and complex rhyming illustrates how RTJ seamlessly integrates the best of both old school and new school hip-hop.
“out of sight” also features a guest verse from 2 Chainz, and he continues to lay the braggadocio on thick. Considering Tity Boi’s dedication to trap stylings, his verse feels right at home on the flex track, despite it’s late 80’s tribute sample, a considerable departure from his usual sound palette.
Up until this point, I haven’t mentioned any of the El-P’s lyrics specifically. El-P is a great rapper, but Killer Mike… Well, Killer Mike is an incredible rapper. He’s the guy who draws you in. El-P is the one who lays the foundation for greatness and Mike is the show stopper, and that’s generally the case for most RTJ tracks. But on “holy calamafuck”, El-P seems determined to make people stop and ask, “Who the fuck is this?!”.
A sharp, yet nearly minimalistic drum kit backing a heavily distorted synthesizer melody lays beneath rhymically knocking cow-bells. This aggressively set stage allows Mike and El to flex as the dynamic duo they are, until the beat suddenly takes a turn for the chaotic. A gnarled, ultra-menacing synth overtakes everything while Mike screams into the abyss, until a distorted snare, enormous 808s, and skeletal hi-hats cut through and launch the beat switch into another dimension. The minimal, yet incredibly dark soundscape allows El-P to snap in a way I have never heard from him previously. His rhymes schemes are reminiscent of an old MF DOOM lyric notebook, while his topics flawlessly combine flexing, psychedelic use, and his well-cemented legacy in the hip-hop community. Cutting and pasting a few of his bars into this review could not convey a fraction of how stunning El-P’s performance on “holy calamafuck” is.
Slightly later in the track list, making liberal use of the Ether song “Gang of Four”, “the ground below” samples and loops the sharp guitar riff and adds aggressive, pounding drums as the basis for the beat; this is finally reminiscent of the forward-thinking, stridulous production El-P has built his reputation on. Capitalising on the classic RTJ moment, Mike and El both flex in their own unique ways. Mike compares himself to Godzilla taking on Tokyo, and El-P demands respect for his name as the legend he is, threatening to smack dying children for mispronouncing his name with his middle finger to the world; his complete disregard for human life and confidence in his abilities are summed up at the end of his verse.
You see a future where Run the Jewels ain’t the shit
Cancel my Hitler-killing trip
Turn the time machine back around a century
SO¢IAL JU$T-ICE (until my voice go from a shriek to whisper...)
While the first few tracks aren’t without their social and political themes, the back-end of RTJ4 is where Mike and El start to bust out the heavy topics. “goonies vs. E.T.”. starts off light, with El-P pointing to the irony of how once he finally started to make it “big” in the industry, the world began to descend into chaos due to climate changes, increasingly obvious social injustice, and political madness. He culminates his frustration with our disregard for the Earth with a fantastic quotable.
Fuck y’all got, another planet on stash?
Far from the fact of the flames and our trash
That is not snow, it is ash, and you gotta know
The past got a wrath, it’s a lover gone mad
Mike’s verse takes the light-hearted frustration expressed by El-P, and turns the aggression to the next level. Aiming his sights against the ruling class and their society that’s been designed to oppress people for profit, who have very meticulously painted themselves as celebrities and idols to the American public. Mike accepts that he will be villainized by these people for speaking against them, but he welcomes the nefarious role, knowing that the working class will eventually eat the rich, no matter how much they are stomped into the dirt.
And this is just the warmup.
If it’s possible for a song to represent a moment in time that captures the absolute shit storm that has been 2020, “walking in the snow” is that song. It’s release coincided perfectly with the protests for George Floyd which were sweeping the nation. Killer Mike’s verse directly references the phrase “I can’t breathe”, the last words of Eric Garner, which also happened to be the last words of Floyd as well. The fact that this verse was reportedly written in November 2019 perpetually underscores the importance of the content and perfectly represents how persistent this problem is. “walking in the snow” is a true encapsulation of both a defining moment in time and an ever-persisting issue.
But he doesn’t just stop at the racial injustice. Mike goes on an absolute rant about the American education system; how it’s not designed to teach people, but to discriminate against poor populations, limiting their legitimate opportunities, and therefore disproportionately leading them into a criminal lifestyle. He calls out the media as fear-mongers, and the apathy of the American public in the face of indecency. Fortunately for Mike, by the time we finally had the chance to hear this masterpiece, we were already on our feet, using this album as a war cry to mobilize against a tyrannical government that militarized against its own citizens simply for asking that we recognize systemic racism and demanding change. Killer Mike has the best verse of the year, no doubt in my mind.
The only drawback is that Mike’s verse is so fucking good that it completely overshadows El-P’s, which is also amazing. A menacing guitar riff and haunting synths kick the track off into a bouncy groove, where El-P unleashes a flurry of internal rhymes that does not relent for about half his verse. Even adding layers of social commentary within the densely packed bars, El refuses to quit and continues on his political tirade; criticizing ICE’s detainment center practices and the “pseudo-Christians” who support them, with a bar that now lives in my head:
Pseudo-Christians, y’all indifferent, kids in prison ain’t a sin? Shit
if even one scrap of what Jesus taught connected you’d feel different
what a disingenuous way to piss away existence, I don’t get it
I’d say you lost your goddamn minds if y’all possessed one to begin with
The combination of two of the best verses spit by any rapper(s) this year and production help from El-P and long time RTJ collaborator Little Shalimar, create a bouncy, aggressive, deeply truthful banger. “walking in the snow” not only encapsulates the crux of 2020 with lyrics that will become more powerful as they age, but will also forever be associated with the Black Lives Matter movement and the determination to expose continuing racial and societal injustices.
The sonic palette of RTJ4 holds an extremely unique place in El-P’s discography. Jamie is the definition of a self-made 90’s hip-hop legend. This is the dude who put New York underground hip-hop on the map with Company Flow, and he did it with his unique flavor of dark, noisy, dense, boom-bap. Whether he was doing it with the help of Rawkus, or completely independently during his Definitive Jux run, El-P has never made music with the intention of becoming famous. Funcrusher Plus, Fantastic Damage,I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead, and Cancer 4 Cure are all highly revered as industrial, technical, abrasive, and completely unsuitable for the radio or a party. The fact that three songs on RTJ4 could easily be heard on the radio, at a party, or in a TV series credits scene is frankly, astounding. In a 2002 interview/documentary on El-P’s budding record label Def Jux, he stated that his friend bet him $500 that he could not make a beat that was “happy”. At the time of the interview, El-P said that he had not won that bet yet. While I might not qualify the beats on RTJ4 as “happy”, if you showed El-P the beat for “JU$T” in 2002, I believe he might have won that bet.
Pharell opens “JU$T” with the pre-chorus, spitting varied examples of how we’re all slaves to our current system throughout the track, over echoing snares and bouncy 808s before bright synth chords and up-tempo hi-hats burst in while Killer Mike delivers the chorus, pointing to the fact that the majority of the people featured on American currency owned slaves at one point in their lives. Mike’s verse touches on the fact that he has committed crimes to get where they are today. Mike is publicly open about his past as a drug dealer. So why is he a criminal, but Benjamin Franklin isn’t? These are the people who built our country, and they built it on the backs of slaves. He illustrates this theme with a more recent examples:
You believe corporations runnin marijuana? Ooh (how that happen?)
and your country gettin ran by a casino owner (ooh)
pedophiles sponsor all these fuckin’ racist bastards (they do)
When corporations are able to sell cannabis legally, but the government continually incarcerates people who trap, our president is a notoriously fraudulent businessman, and the people who helped put him in power run a pedophile ring, yet none of them face consequences and are allowed to continue to profit and remain in power while people suffer; well, we might be closer to slaves than previously imagined.
Rage Against The Machine frontman Zach de la Rocha also makes his mandatory feature appearance at the end of “JU$T”. As the only artist to feature on three Run The Jewels albums, Zach is essentially an unofficial member of the group at this point. His fiery verse is spit with the same “Rage” energy that set him apart in the mid-90’s, ending the track questioning his place in a capitalist society as a recipe for his inevitable demise, since his “breath”, or art, as his weapon to express himself is still being exploited for other’s profit.
Continuing with RTJ4’s heavily synthetic sonic palette, “never look back” features wavering synth leads resting above the slow-jams snappy snares and thumping bass, while a haunting voice echoes in the background. This unsettling aura provides additional gravity for Jamie and Mike to continue self-reflecting on defining moments in their childhood, and as well as how far they’ve come from those moments. Mike and El are both self-made men, and while they have a certain fondness for those gritty moments that defined them, moving forward in life is undoubtedly more important.
Skeletal drums reminiscent of a slowly pounding heart opens “pulling the pin”, before rhythmic hi-hats and textured, watery synths fluttering in the upper register resting above a bouncy synth lead, and punchy 808s, burst in. The track digs itself into a slower, marching groove and shows the duo figuratively doing exactly what the title implies. Painting a portrait of a society that has turned on itself, Mike and El are ready to pull the pin and start over.
The duo both detail their despise for the ruling class, pointing out multiple examples of how the elite have designed our society to keep poor people in their class. Simultaneously recognizing their own hypocrisy for profiting in a system that inherently discriminates; Mike reflects on his own success, knowing that living the lifestyle he enjoys is one built on oppression, and expresses the guilt that has caused him. El-P opens with a brutal metaphor for police, implying that they’re the root cause of the “wretched state of danger” our society exists within, and that the only effective corrective action is to numb yourself with drugs. Despite his advice, Jamie knows this is not a permanent solution, but one that causes more self-inflicted wounds.
The final piece of the puzzle that is RTJ4, “a few words for the firing squad” begins to close the album with ever crescending strings, and loud, thunderous drums which never seem to resolve, continuing throughout their verses. While the drums that lead to nowhere can be sonically unpleasant, the unresolved melodies are intentionally representative of their current mindsets. Their verses are reflective and grim, but simultaneously optimistic and envisions a world where tragedy is a less common occurrence.
El is grateful for what he has now but recognizes his entire life has been skewed by traumas, so out of place feels normal for him. He reflects on his current success, noting that the worst people tend to end up with the most, which makes becoming “rich” something not as desirable as it once was.
Mike opens up about the death of his mother who died while he was on an airplane, admitting his struggles to not cope with his trauma with opioids. However, his wife provides him the most important reason to stay clean “but my queen/say she need a king/not another junkie rapper fiend” while a heartbreaking saxophone solo highlights the gravity of his lyrics.
The track ends with what sounds the like wrap-up voiceover to a TV show, a conceptually satisfying ending, as the opening track “yankee and brave (ep.4)” began with El-P stating:
”This week, on Yankee and The Brave”
This voiceover paints the duo as brothers on the run from the law and crooked cops, and while this does close this “episode” out as intended, the critic in me is bothered by the slightly kitschy outro to such a spectacular album. The voices singing over and over, “Brave, brave, braaaaaave, Yankee and the Brave” would be, simply put, better left on the cutting room floor. The ending of this track alone is what knocks my score of this album down a few points. Despite its stellar lyrical content, with drums that never seem to reach that “holy shit!” moment, and the easily skippable outro, it’s upsetting to me that an album this great ends on such a low note.
Overview
RTJ4 is by far my favorite album of the year. El-P’s cutting edge approach to their sound, blended with lyrical content that continues to be more relevant by the day, the duo have come together with what is objectively their most accessible album to date. RTJ4 is the natural evolution of sound and subject matter for the duo; taking the foundation set by Run The Jewels 3 and evolving it into a more concise, more accessible, and more conceptual album. While I still personally prefer the “fuck the world” intensity and experimental nature of Run The Jewels 2, RTJ4 opens themselves up to a whole new world of exposure, and when you’re as talented as these two, you know they’re going to capitalize on it. RTJ is currently at their apex, and they’ve created an album that will make many new life-long fans going forward.
9.2/10
Discussion Points
  • How does this compare to other RTJ releases? How about in comparison to the member’s solo works?
  • Does the overwhelmingly positive critical reception of this album surprise you?
  • How will this be looked back on in 5 years?
  • What are your favorite lyrics?
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No, you can't have a naked picture of my kid

I do not give permission for this post to be shared anywhere. At all. It belongs on this subreddit only.
The big casino compromise was that MIL and SFIL came to visit yesterday instead, because no fucking way am I seeing them after they go to a giant casino on Christmas to lick COVID off a slot machine.
I had read Toxic In-Laws (link in the resources page for this sub) this week. And made myself a list of statements that start with "I'm not willing..." and "I am willing..." as is advised in the book. So I felt better prepared for her visit and better prepared to discuss the babysitting thing if it came up. So of course, it did not.
She found out that I had unfriended her on FB, finally, and sent my husband a series of text messages saying I clearly hated her and she was done trying (girl what have you even tried?). My husband said what he always says, which is, "Mom, you're inventing this. You are making this up in your head. No one is slighting you, no one is mad at you, you are welcome in our home, I'm not discussing it further." She sulked for a few days and then asked to come visit this weekend as if the convo had never happened.
My husband said, "Well apparently she's realized that will get her nowhere, so can we just let it go?"
Thanks to Toxic In-Laws, I know my MIL is a fan of injustice collecting and also criticism by proxy. But I also know that the best time to address things is when they happen. MIL is out of FB drama to send to DH, since she can't invent slights from my FB posts anymore, so we will see if that ends the text screeds. If it does not, I have a plan.
All that to say I agreed to let it go. She has only EVER called/texted him with made up drama if she'd been looking at my FB (seeing other grandparents, SMIL getting a good grandma name, I appear more appreciative of other people than her, where is HER good grandma FB points, etc etc etc), so I set a boundary by unfriending her, I am satisfied with that.
We had an incredibly pleasant visit. Two boundaries in a week (well, she found OUT about two in one week) seems to have shaken her up a little, she was on her best behavior. Plus, there were presents to disperse and that is the great joy of her life. She didn't try to overstep or keep LO from me, she even took my gentle advice and sat a bit away from him and talked to him for a while before trying to hold him (he does NOT like people in his face).
A thing you should know about MIL is she has an entire baby album seemingly dedicated to DH's exposed junk, which he finds very trying. It's a lot. It's too much. Baby butts are adorable but why do you have 9 pictures of him from the back while he's crawling, with his junk hanging down totally visible? I used to work in child protection and I have strong opinions about people who share naked pictures of their babies on social media. Even if the pedophile who sees it likes older children, your naked baby could become trading material on the corners of the internet where things like that can be traded. I don't trust MIL with anything that I won't put on social media because, you know, everything goes on social media.
LO has a heart shaped birthmark high up on his left butt cheek. It's precious. If he were a realistic baby doll, it would be the little manufacturer logo, it looks placed there so intentionally. It's the cutest goddamn thing. DH mentioned it and she said, "Well next time you have him disrobed, take a picture for me!" I said, "No. We don't take pictures of LO with his clothes off."
She said, "I didn't mean for Facebook, I mean just for me to see it!" I said, in a neutral tone, "I am not willing to take pictures of my son with his clothes off. DH, why don't you show MIL the birthmark now, in person?"
So he pulled LO's diaper to the side so she could see the birthmark, she agreed it's the cutest thing she's ever seen in her life, and we all continued with our visit. No one got mad, no one argued with me. "I am not willing" has a different intention than "I won't" or "I can't," and it is already working for me!
Sorry for the rambling update, but I was so happy to tell her something and not have her handwave me, interrupt me, ignore me, or tell me, "It's fine, I'll just..." when I said a firm no.
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[pi] The Devil Is In The Details

Inspired by: [WP] As you successfully summoned the Devil himself, he promised to grant you any wish for your soul as payment. He wasnt prepared for you to say "I wish you can make up with God".
Lucifer blinked, certain he’d misheard. The child who didn’t look old enough to spell his name looked up at him from where she stood at the head of her salt drawn pentagram. “It-it’s not that easy,” he stammered, looking for an adult that he could have a reasonable conversation with.
“But you can do anything,” she insisted. “So why can’t you do this?”
Lucifer lifted a hand, then dropped it at his side. “Why is this so important to you, kid?”
“Whenever I have a fight at school, Miss Gradel makes me sit down and talk to them. I don’t like it, but she says we have to.” She lifted her chin to look up at him. “And if I have to, so do you.”
Lucifer’s shocked features melted into understanding. “Ahhh, I see,” he purred. “Misery loves company. You know I coined that phrase, right?”
“What?”
Lucifer closed his eyes. This kid summoned him from his Casino chain in Vegas to … wherever in the world he was, by using a complicated ritual involving incantations that most of this world’s people knew nothing about, but she didn’t know what it meant to coin a phrase?
“How about I get you a winged pony, kid? One that sits in your pocket and breathes fire and eats the kids you fight with. Then you won’t have to sit through Miss Gradel’s interventions anymore.”
The girl looked thoughtful, and Lucifer believed he had a winner.
“You’re scared of him.”
Ahhhhh….what? “Nooooo,” Lucifer insisted.
“Yes, you are. He’s your Dad and you had a big fight with him, and now you aren’t talking anymore. I still don’t like Miles Tooley, but after we were made to talk, I found out he was a bully because his dad was. And that got me thinking. What if there’s something in God’s past that you don’t know about? Something that stops you two from being close.”
Lucifer chuckled and looked at the ceiling overhead. “Kid, The Almighty is an open book, and as his creations, we all play our part. Mine is to be the black sheep that can never go home. Without me, people have no reason to follow his word. I was banished, kid. Do you get that? It's pretty hard to kiss and make up if I’m not allowed back and he never leaves.”
“So, you’re stuck here?”
Lucifer shrugged. “It’s complicated.”
“But you promised me anything I wanted.”
Lucifer raked his fingers through his hair. “Okay, kid. I’m not supposed to do this, but I really need you to rethink that promise before it gets us both killed. You look like a very smart young lady, so tell me if I’m going too fast for you.”
He took a deep breath and continued. “I don’t really run Hell. It’s all a giant shell game of the higher-ups. A deal Dad struck with the real masters of Hell a long time ago, back when Uriel and I were friends. I’m just a figurehead who got in over his head and our fathers came to this solution. I screwed up and cost Hell a chunk of their lost souls … that they weren’t using,” he added quickly, knowing that defence hadn’t saved him all that time ago when he was brought back to Heaven in chains amidst the very angry Highborn Hellions. “And a deal was struck between them. I had to pretend to rule Hell so that evil-doers had somewhere other than Heaven to go.”
Lucifer looked down at her wide eyes and wondered if he had already said too much. But, as the saying went, what the hell. He kept going. “And Hell got the double bonus of extra souls to torment and all the power that came from the belief that I ruled Hell.”
“That’s not fair.”
Lucifer’s laugh was hollow. “That’s the point, kid. The Highborn Hellions don’t do anything fair. The deck is ALWAYS stacked in their favour.”
“What would have happened to you, if this deal wasn’t made?”
Lucifer blinked again. He had never really thought about that. “I’d be dead, I guess,” he said.
The little girl smiled. “Then Heaven did get something else out of it. The Almighty got to keep you, even if he had to send you away afterwards. You lived, after making a mistake that should have killed you.”
Lucifer turned away from her, staring at the brick wall of the girl’s basement. Is that even … no, he told himself. No … noo … He hates me. That’s why he exiled me. Salvaging a deal out of that screwup was a bonus. Getting rid of me was intentional because he hates me for not being like the rest of my rim-licking, goodie-two-shoes brothers and sisters.
It was a mantra that had served him well since his exile. He could feel better about it if he hated them first and more.
“Maybe you’re right,” the girl said, causing him to look back over his shoulder at her. “You can’t make up with someone who already loves you so much he sent you away to protect you.”
Lucifer swallowed. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to think as she did. But now that the nugget had been placed in his mind, he could feel it already growing. “Kid, do you mind if we pick this up another time?” he asked, no longer wanting to be there.
“Will you come back if I call?”
“Do you know how to toss a coin?” he asked.
When the girl nodded, Lucifer flicked her a very special coin. “Flip this in the air, darlin’,” he said. “I’ll be back before it lands to continue this talk.”
The girl turned it over and over in her hands. “Promise?”
“Devil’s honour,” he said, curling his fingers into the hellion sign that over recent decades had become a rock symbol. More lies to feed the machine.
Two steps later, Lucifer had teleported himself back to the biggest of his casinos in Vegas. He went to the drinks cabinet that lined a wall and took down a bottle of Macallan ’52 and broke the seal on it. Then he walked out onto his balcony that overlooked the strip, though it wasn’t the bright lights that drew his attention.
No, as he tipped the bottle to his lips, his eyes went to the night sky overhead.
* * *
((All comments welcome))
For more of my work including WPs: Angel466 or an index of previous WPS here
submitted by Angel466 to HFY [link] [comments]

For Demonstration Purposes Only

Hey, folks, Steve here again. As my name implies, I'm a slot techician, which means I fix the machines and get asked if I can rig it to win so many times, it might as well be a Friday Evening, Pre-Recorded sketch.
Like my other stories, any names, brands, amounts, and locations that may appear have been changed for anonymity. Procedures and timelines may be changed if altering them does not break the flow of the story. Industry-standard terms (e.g. "TITO") have been left as-is.
This happened a few months ago, so some details are fuzzy.
It was a somewhat peaceful night so far in the casino. Calls for doors and other stupid-easy miscellany were down - so far, all save one or two calls were legitimate issues. At about 7:30, I was replacing some of the heads on the thermal printers (and chatting with $sup about the price of tea in China) when the radio crackled to life in my earpiece.
$radio: "I need a slot tech to 2-Charlie-1501 for a patron dispute."
$me: "2-Charlie-1501, be there in a minute."
I knew the voice on the radio as Jenny, one of the better attendants. She was one of the better ones out there; she'd troubleshoot and do everything she could before calling us, and if she called in a patron dispute, it almost always meant one of two things: either she herself did not understand (and in such a case she'd hang around while I dug through the game rules and explained it to the patron), or she had already explained it to the patron and the patron refused to believe her.
I set the printer parts aside and hiked upstairs to 2-CC-1501, where the patron was rambling on at her about how she saw this and how it did this and why didn't it pay her? Jenny saw me coming and stepped me aside to brief me:
$jenny: "She says she won several times while playing this, but I can't find anything in the game history."
I nod and Jenny goes back to deal with the patron while I check the credits on the game (zero), turn the audit key, and start doing my detective work. The game's history only goes back 20 games, so I start at the most recent and work my way back - there's some little wins here and there, but nothing on the scale that the patron was claiming - just ten credits here, fifteen there, so on and so forth - nothing out of the ordinary since they were playing 3 reels on a penny-denom 5-reel Royalty Mach 6 game.
After thumbing through all twenty games, I turn my attention to the game's internal logs. Nothing out of the ordinary shows up, just the usual start-of-play, end-of-play, start-of-play, end-of-play, ticket print, and audit stuff. And then I notice the timestamps.
03 Sep 19:34:36 2020 - Entered game recall 03 Sep 19:33:07 2020 - Audit mode - ON 03 Sep 19:26:51 2020 - Service Request - OFF 03 Sep 19:21:37 2020 - Service Request - ON 03 Sep 17:55:49 2020 - Ticket removed 03 Sep 17:55:46 2020 - Ticket print XXXXXXXXXXXXXX0001 $3.57 03 Sep 17:55:46 2020 - System authorization successful ... 
...Huh, that's over an h. I check the game recall screen's timestamps, and sure enough, the last play was a bit over an hour and a half ago.
By now, the patron's finished their tirade, so I turn to them.
$me: "How long ago were you playing?"
$patron: "A few minutes ago! Can't you see it?"
I turn back to Jenny, lean in, and softly advise her to call her manager. I hear her call for one and I go back to ticking boxes off the Standard Dispute Checklist - button test, video test, touchscreen test, the usual suspects. While I'm checking the logs one last time to make sure I didn't miss anything, Beth - the department manager on duty - arrives.
Beth was a good manager. She took care of everyone in the department, and I'm actually disappointed she left at some point between this story and now.
$beth: "Whatcha got, Steve?"
$me: "She says she was playing a few minutes ago and was winning - quite a lot - and it never paid her. Last game recall says the last game played was at 5:54 this evening."
$beth: "Okay. I'll call Big Brother1 and get them to run back the tape."
$me: "Alright. Buttons all tested good, touchscreen's dead-on."
Beth nodded and dismissed me, and I went back to fixing the printers in the tech shop while she did the needful.
A couple of hours later, I see her back-of-house and talk shop with her.
$me: "So what's the story on that dispute at 2-Charlie-15?"
$beth: "Oh, it was the demo. Surveillance saw her watching the demo for a few minutes before she called an attendant."
Reels turn on, electronic bells ring, and most likely, someone up in the surveillance room was laughing their butt off that day.
1 We use a discreet codename for Surveillance when we're radioing them. We don't actually call them "Big Brother", however - that's just the anonymized name I chose for them.
submitted by SlotTechSteve to talesfromtechsupport [link] [comments]

There's nothing like GTA: Online, for better and for worse

The promise of Grand Theft Auto: Online is an intoxicating one. GTAV’s world remains one of, if not the most remarkable in gaming history, and the idea that you and a group of friends can team up and wreak havoc upon that world seems too good to be true.
To some extent, it is too good to be true. GTAO suffers from a myriad of technical issues and limitations, including ridiculous loading times, crashes, game-breaking glitches, and terrible anti-cheat. It’s like a complicated, unwieldy machine with hundreds of unseen components. If it fails, your only two options are to start from scratch, or give up.
But when it all comes together, when you finally find your friends after five minutes of loading screens and ten minutes of yelling at each other on Discord to “go here”, the experience is unparalleled. The first few hours we spent roaming the world were violent co-op magic, like a depraved, extravagant Scorcese montage with a body count that would turn eyes at the ICJ. We did missions, did drugs, blew things up, got haircuts, bought clothes, bought cars, stole cars, shot police, shot pedestrians, and of course, shot each other. Being homebound due to Covid, our at-first daily, then weekly GTA sessions kept us connected, the first time a game had done so since our short-lived Minecraft phase in March of last year.
But yesterday, as we failed the same section of the Diamond Casino Heist for about the twentieth time, one of my friends broke the silence. “Is anyone having fun?”
Several months ago, I posted a rant on this subreddit about the singleplayer, bemoaning its weak story, poor gunplay, unnoticeable progression, and surprisingly empty open-world. I stand by what I wrote, perhaps even more so now that I see how much more compelling GTAV could have been if it had included online’s heists, vehicles, and properties as DLC.
That said, online is not without fault. While there’s a massive catalogue of things to buy, the grinding necessary to purchase these things is awful, making even Cookie Clicker feel productive. GamesRadar says the Heists, which themselves require expensive properties and a substantial initial investment to initiate, net you about 400k an hour, which isn’t all that much considering how much vehicles and properties cost.
We realized early on that the disparity between GTAO’s prices and its payouts was a manufactured pain point, the remedy being the game’s overpriced Shark Cards. Rather than dig out our wallets, we abided by GTA’s longstanding moral tradition and hacked ourselves enough money to buy every car, every property, and every weapon in the game. But even without the grind to worry about, GTAO had no qualms with wasting our time. The loading screens are the most obvious example of this, but these are, I believe, unavoidable given the scope of what you’re loading into. Where it’s less forgivable is in the tedious minutiae and the absence of systems that should be present.
The more we played, the more frustrated I became. Why can I only fast travel to my properties as a CEO? Why can’t I claim all destroyed vehicles at once? Why can’t I skip these stupidly long cutscenes? Why do I have to wait to spawn in a vehicle? In a way, it makes the same mistake as its singleplayer counterpart. Though it has incredible setpieces that you won’t find in any other game, the vast majority of your time is spent preparing for them.
I don’t believe games should have infinite longevity, so I don’t fault GTAO for losing its sheen after eighty-some hours. Overall, I had a good time. Tearing through hordes of cops in a pink Insurgent. The terrific Pacific Standard Heist. Getting picked up by my friend in a disgusting anime car that he claimed wasn’t his. Being repeatedly stalked and kidnapped over the course of several weeks by a hacker named “JOE BIDEN” who’d drive me around the map at light speed and drop boats on my head as I’d try to flee. And above all, having the opportunity to hang out with my friends during a pandemic. These are all experiences I’ll remember.
The hours I spent in loading screens, driving from one side of the map to the other for the hundredth time, and listening to Lester talk about skinny dipping? I’ll remember those too, though nowhere near as fondly.
submitted by fresh6669 to patientgamers [link] [comments]

The Complete Story of the Borderlands (thus far)

Hello everyone. A few years ago I posted a complete summary of the Borderlands games up to Borderlands 3. Today I am back to update the story summary with all of the new events and lore revealed in Borderlands 3. That original post can be found here. If I missed anything or got something wrong, please comment down below so I can amend it.
Be warned there are MAJOR SPOILERS ahead for Borderlands, Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel, Borderlands 2, Tales From the Borderlands, Borderlands 3, DLC expansions, and the future of the series. Without further ado, here it is, the complete story of the Borderlands franchise!
Lore
Long ago, an ancient alien race known as the Eridians inhabited the universe. Originating from the planet of Nekrotafeyo, Their technological advancements far exceed anything the modern universe has been able to create thus far. The Eridians created Guardians, mechanical constructs, to protect their race and caches of technology, riches and weapons, known as Vaults. Powerful women imbued with supernatural powers known as Sirens begin to appear at some point. Only 7 Sirens can exist in the universe at a time, and when one dies, her unique powers are passed to another individual. Of the 7 known Siren Powers, we have seen 5 of them; Phaselock, Phaseshift, Phasewalk, Phasetrance, and Phaseleach.
At some point in their history, the Eridians encountered an immensely powerful interdimensional creature called The Destroyer. The Destroyer threatened all of creation, and in a final effort to stop it from destroying the universe, the Eridians sacrificed their race to trap the beast inside The Great Vault, a massive Vault the size of a planet. Nyriad, a Siren, completed the sealing of the Great Vault through use of a Powerful Machine on Nekrotafeyo. Following this, Nyriad, in an effort to prevent her Phaseleach powers from transferring to a new host, locked herself in the Vault on Nekrotafeyo to die. The Phaseleach powers would not be transfered to a new host upon her passing.
The Great Vault would later become known as the planet of Pandora, with her moon, Elpis serving as the Great Vault’s key. In an effort to keep the Destroyer dormant, a feeding hole was constructed through which sacrifices would be made every 200 years. A Vault Monster known as The Warrior was left behind on Pandora to protect the Great Vault, and a Vault Monster known as The Sentinel was left on Elpis to hold knowledge of the Great Vault’s purpose.
Fast forward millions of years to modern times. Humanity develops faster than light travel and begins to explore the galaxy. Typhon DeLeon, seeking a life greater than that of his turd farming parents, sets out on a universe-wide expedition to search for fame and glory. He discovers an Eridian Vault on the planet of Promethea. He sells the Vault's contents to a small company known as Atlas to fund further searches for Vaults. Typhon DeLeon would gain notoriety as the first Vault Hunter.
The riches within the Promethean Vault allow Atlas to become the largest and most powerful corporation in the galaxy. They establish their corporate headquarters on the Promethea and begin to explore and settle new worlds, one of which is Pandora. The Dahl Corporation arrives on Pandora soon after, and expands it's mining operations to the planet and her moon, while Atlas rules over its Pandoran settlements with its elite military unit, the Crimson Lance. The Corporate Wars, fought between massive corporations over resources began sometime after.
During DeLeon's travels, he meets a woman named Leda, with whom he accidentally discovers the ancestral homeworld of the Eridians, Nekrotafeyo, while making love. The couple would conceve their children within the Vault after opening it and slaying the Vault Monster within. Leda gives birth to conjoined twins, whom Typhon would separate so that they could survive, unbeknownst to the fact that they had absorbed the Phaseleach Siren powers of Nyriad. The twins were named Troy and Tyreen, and would later become known as The Calypso Twins. At some point of their childhood, Leda would be accidentally killed by Tyreen while exercising her Siren powers, resulting in Typhon becoming a stricter father. The twins would later escape from their protective father, fleeing the planet.
Pandora is bustling. Research facilities, mining stations and trade posts spring up overnight. A global network known as the ECHOnet is established, linking the planet’s populace. Little did the inhabitants of Pandora know, however, that they had settled during the planet's seven year winter. When the summer rolled around and the local fauna came out of hibernation, a nearly planet-wide exodus occurred. Those who couldn't leave took up shelter. The planet became a lawless frontier nearly overnight, with Dahl abandoning their facilities and letting loose the prisoners they had employed as slave labor. Hector, and his battalion are trapped and left in a mine on Pandora during Dahl’s exodus. Atlas abandons their the top-secret Gortys Project, which hopes to control the mysterious Vault of the Traveler, and locks away various pieces of the project across their facilities all over Pandora.
In the year 2873, 2 years before the events of the first game, Patricia Tannis, who was employed by Dahl, had uncovered fragments of a Vault Key, confirming the suspicion that a Vault was present on Pandora. The key was stolen by bandits and spread across Pandora. Speak of the Vault swept across Pandora...
Meanwhile, on Elpis, the situation was not much better. Dahl’s military force, led by Colonel Zarpedon denounced their ties to Dahl following Zarpedon’s encounter with the Vault on the moon. The military force became known as the Lost Legion and swore to protect the Vault. Extensive mining efforts by Dahl on the surface led to what is known as "The Crackening". The moon burst, opening great chasms and lava flows. The destruction of their mining facilities and the mutiny commited by Zarpedon forced Dahl to abandon Elpis. They fled the Pandora system shortly after.
With the moon under the control of a crazed military legion and Pandora, a lawless frontier, all seemed to be lost for the system, until...
Borderlands
The year is 2875. Four Vault Hunters; Roland, Mordecai, Brick and Lilith arrive at the small town of Fyrestone. Led by a mysterious ”Angel”, the Vault Hunters slowly begin clearing out local bandit populations until they encounter a bandit boss known as Sledge. Having killed Sledge, the Vault Hunters retrieve an Eridian artifact which is revealed to be part of the Vault Key. At the same time, Commandant Steele, acting Crimson Lance Commander on Pandora declares rule over the planet and demands any Eridian artifacts be turned over to the Crimson Lance.
The Vault Hunters travel to the city of New Haven, one of the largest surviving civilizations on the planet and learn about the location of Patricia Tannis. Tannis directs the Vault hunters to the next three pieces of the Vault Key, during which they encounter the Crimson Lance. Upon killing the bandit boss Flint who is believed to have the final Vault Key piece, it is revealed that Tannis had the final piece and was working with the Crimson Lance all along. Steele disables the ECHOnet and the Vault Hunters set out to the Crimson Enclave, a Crimson Lance base, to rescue Tannis.
Upon saving Tannis and reactivating the ECHOnet, Tannis sends the Vault Hunters after Steele who is attempting to open the Vault. The Vault Hunters fight through Lance and Guardians alike to reach The Vault just before Steele opens it. Upon opening the Vault, Steele is immediately killed by The Destroyer an ancient alien that was housed inside the Vault. The Vault Hunters kill the beast and return the Key to Tannis, whilst it is revealed that Angel, the guide to the Vault Hunters has been communicating to them through a Hyperion satellite the whole time.
Events Leading up to The Pre-Sequel
The opening of the first Vault triggered the release of an element called Eridium, which slowly begins popping up all over the planet of Pandora. Detecting the release of the element, the Hyperion corporation begins to move into the Pandoran system.
The Vault Hunters are summoned shortly after by an ex-Lance officer known as Athena. Athena assists the Vault Hunters in striking down an already crippled Crimson Lance and their sole surviving general, General Knoxx, driving the Lance off of Pandora for good.
Meanwhile, a Hyperion experiment that was intended to rid Pandora of Vault Hunters goes awry when a reprogrammed CL4P-TP unit, better known as a Claptrap unit sparks a revolution among Claptrap robots. Hyperion contacts the Vault Hunters and asks for help in dealing with the problem. The Claptrap revolution is shattered and the Claptrap robots are returned to normal, or at least as normal as Claptrap robots can be.
2 years pass between the events of Borderlands and Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
The Pre-Sequel
With the Crimson Lance all but defeated, Athena seeks work as a hired gun. She comes across a distress signal put out by a Hyperion engineer by the name of Jack in the year 2877 who reveals his position to be aboard a Hyperion space station known as Helios. The station is under attack by Zarpedon’s Lost Legion who hope to halt the progress of construction of the station above Pandora. Athena, as well as mercenaries Wilhelm, Aurelia Hammerlock, Timothy Lawrence (who has undergone facial reconstructive surgery to pose as Handsome Jack's doppelganger), Nisha, and Claptrap travel to Helios to rescue Jack and save the station.
The Lost Legion are repelled by the Vault Hunters, and Jack launches the crew to Elpis in search of a jamming signal which is preventing fast travel off of Helios. The crew encounters Janey Springs who helps them get to the city of Concordia, a former spaceport before The Crackening. After dispatching some scavengers, the team enters Concordia, meeting up with Roland, Lilith and Moxxi who assist them in disabling the jamming signal, allowing Jack to fast travel off of Helios.
Jack confronts the Meriff, mayor and sheriff on Concordia and kills him. He then formulates a plan to retake the station. The team head to an old Dahl factory and assemble a robot army to retake Helios. This raises concerns among Roland, Lilith and Moxxi, however they go along with Jack. Jack and the team travel to Helios with assistance from their robot army and confront Zarpedon who reveals the location of a Vault before being killed.
Elsewhere on Helios, Professor NakayamaA deranged Hyperion scientist begins working on an AI prototype which he hopes he will be able to use to cheat death and upload a patient's consciousness onto a computer.
Roland, Lilith and Moxxi turn against Jack, seeing he is going mad with power. They head after the Vault, hoping to claim it before Jack. Jack sends his crew back to Elpis in search of the Vault.
The team dispatches Eridian Guardians as they head deep into Elpis, eventually reaching the Vault Elesser, beating Roland, Lilith and Moxxi. They defeat the guardian, The Sentinel, and Jack arrives just in time to claim an artifact inside which gives him visions of a new Vault on Pandora, home to an even greater power. Lilith enters Elesser and smashes the artifact, scarring Jack and pushing him over the edge. Jack adopts the identity of Handsome Jack with a mask covering his scarred face. With the company of Hyperion in his control, he begins seeking out the Vault on Pandora.
Events Leading up to Borderlands 2
Jack, learns of a secret weapon hidden away inside of Claptrap, known as the H-Source. Jack sends his crew inside of Claptrap’s mind in order to retrieve it. The team fights throughout Claptrap’s subconscious, learning more about the robot than they could ever care to know, until finally retrieving the H-Source and returning it to Jack. Jack uses the code to destroy all Hyperion Claptrap units. He executes the Claptrap belonging to his crew and dumps him off in Windshear Waste where he is discovered by Sir Alistair Hammerlock.
Athena and Aurelia leave Jack at this time, both disgusted by his actions. Athena settles down with Elpis native Janey Springs. The couple moves to the town of Hollow Point on Pandora shortly after, and much to the chagrin of Janey, Athena continues in her mercenary ways. She almost immediately picks up a contract put out by a man named Felix, who hires her to protect his two adopted daughters.
Aurelia disappears, whilst Nisha, Wilhelm and Timothy Lawrence stay by Jack's side.
Jack’s takes over the Pandoran mining town of Lynchwood for his girlfriend Nisha. Wilhelm, Nisha and Jack attack the city of New Haven, prompting Roland, Mordecai, Lilith and Brick to defend the citizens while they evacuate. Jack kills Brick's dog, while Wilhelm nearly kills the Vault Hunters, driving them away. Wilhelm and Jack then board a train commandeered by Helena Pierce, leader of New Haven and execute her as well as the city's residents.
This loss of New Haven and his dog causes Brick to snap and murder a Hyperion informant that the Raiders had captured in order to get intel on Handsome Jack. Roland kicks Brick out of the Crimson Raiders. Mordecai isolates himself, while Roland and Lilith begin assembling an army of ex Crimson Lance soldiers under the banner of the Crimson Raiders to protect Pandora. They face initial resistance from Jack and are slowly pressed back to their headquarters in the city of Sanctuary.
Jack, utilizing Eridium to power his weaponry and having declared himself dictator of Pandora, begins sending out messages drawing new Vault Hunters to the planet in search of the Vault. Jack systematically kills off all new Vault Hunters that arrive on the planet.
3 years pass between the events of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel and Borderlands 2.
Borderlands 2
A Vault Hunter team comprised of Axton, Maya, Salvador, Zero, Gaige and Kreig survive a train bombing and crash in Windshear Waste in the year 2880. They encounter Claptrap who leads them to Alistair Hammerlock in the small town of Liar’s Berg. All the while, Angel directs them and pledges to help defeat Jack. Hammerlock sends the Vault Hunters after clearing out local bandits, which opens the way for the Vault Hunters to travel to the city of Sanctuary. At Sanctuary, the Vault Hunters are informed that the Crimson Raider’s leader, Roland, has been captured by a bandit known as the Firehawk. The Vault Hunters confront The Firehawk, who turns out to be Lilith whose elemental Siren powers have been enhanced by the release of Eridium across the planet. Lilith sends them after another bandit tribe who has Roland, and upon freeing him, learn of a plan Roland has to defeat Jack.
The Vault Hunters attempt to recapture the Vault Key from a Hyperion train with the help of Mordecai and Tiny Tina, however they find Wilhelm, Jack’s enforcer instead. He is narrowly dispatched by the Vault Hunters, and a power core is retrieved off of him that Angel insists can be used to shield Sanctuary from Helios’s barrage of fire. The Vault Hunters return the core to the city, and upon plugging it in, the core drops Sanctuary’s shield. Helios opens fire on the city, prompting Lilith to teleport the city away.
With the city crippled, Angel begs to be forgiven, telling the Vault Hunters that Jack is using her to charge the Vault Key to open the Vault and release The Warrior, an ancient alien that will serve whoever releases it. Angel tells the team that if Jack opens the Vault he will destroy Pandora. Angel reveals where she is being held, in a Hyperion facility and urges the Vault Hunters to free her. The team, led by Roland, Mordecai and Lilith gather what they will need to assault the compound, recruiting Brick along the way. The team assault the Hyperion base and encounter Angel, who is revealed to be Jack’s Siren daughter. She tells the Vault Hunters to kill her to stop the key from being charged, and when they do, Jack kills Roland and captures Lilith in order to use her to finish charging the key. Following Angel’s death, her Siren powers are transferred to Tannis, who keeps her anointment of Siren powers a secret from the rest of the Crimson Raiders.
With Roland dead and Lilith captured, Mordecai and Brick lead the assault through the Eridium Blight to the Vault. The Vault Hunters arrive at the Vault just after Jack opens it and releases the Warrior. The Vault Hunters kill the Warrior and Jack and free Lilith. Lilith, wanting to destroy the Vault Key accidentally activates a map showing the locations of more Vaults all across the universe.
Events leading up to Tales from the Borderlands
The Vault Hunters split up, some traveling off planet to find new Vaults, others staying on Pandora, taking up mercenary work. During a game hunt with Sir Hammerlock, the Vault Hunters encounter Professor Nakayama holed up in a crashed Hyperion ship. Nakayama falls down a flight of stairs and dies. His body is recovered by traveler and collector Shade after the ship is looted by the Vault Hunters.
With Jack dead, a power vacuum is created on Helios. A Hyperion executive known as Saul Henderson takes control of the company, but he is murdered shortly after by Hugo Vasquez, who regains control of the company. At some point, Timothy Lawrence, as well as all of the other Handsome Jack doppelgangers are instructed to travel to The Handsome Jackpot, a massive casino space station, where they are trapped, facing the threat of being blown up by a injected bomb.
It is unknown how many years pass between the events of Borderlands 2 and Tales from the Borderlands.
Tales From The Borderlands
NOTE: Not all events in Tales From the Borderlands are canon. While the overarching story is canon, certain events, such as characters that died or survived or minor details may differ from playthrough to playthrough. Gearbox has not confirmed which events from the game are canon, or if certain characters died or are still alive.
In the city of Hollow Point, three con-artists, Felix and his two adopted daughters, Fiona and Sasha, set up a con involving a fake Vault Key. Fiona delivers the fake Key, built by Felix, to Sasha and her boyfriend August.
At the same time, a cybernetic enhanced Hyperion middle manager by the name of Rhys, seeking a promotion from Henderson, is shocked to find him dead, launched out of an airlock by Vasquez. Vasquez demotes Rhys to Assistant-Vice Janitor but not before letting a potential deal with a Vault Key slip. Rhys, angered by Vasquez, recruits his friends Vaughn and Yvette to interrupt the deal and get the Vault Key. They travel to Pandora where the face bandits in the town of Prosperity Junction. Yvette sends down a Loader Bot to help them. The Loader Bot flies away, dispatching the last of the bandits upon Rhys's order.
Rhys and Vaughn enter The World of Curiosities where they find the taxidermied body of Professor Nakayama. Rhys recovers a data chip off of the body before they meet Shade, who introduces them to August and Sasha, the owners of the Vault Key.
The deal goes awry when Bossanova, a dub-step loving bandit boss, and Zero, crash into the World of Curiosities in the heat of battle. The fake Vault Key is smashed and Bossanova takes the money and escapes, followed by Zero. Amidst the confusion, Rhys and Vaughn try to hijack Felix's caravan. The two are taken prisoner by Fiona, Sasha and Felix. Hoping to prevent being tossed out of the caravan, they reveal they can track the money. The two sides form a temporary alliance. Rhys, hoping to find the money, plugs the recovered data drive into his head and collapses, while Vaughn successfully tracks the money to an abandoned Atlas warehouse.
Rhys comes to and they form a plan to recover the money from Bossanova who offers it to whomever wins his death race. Zero crashes the party and kills Bossanova, and just as the crew are about to get the money, it is captured by Felix who betrays Fiona and Sasha. Depending on your choices during the game, Felix will be blown up by the rigged case, or will toss it and escape. Either way, the money is destroyed. The group begins searching the arena for something of value. Rhys stumbles into a cellar which contains rare Atlas treasure. Fiona and Rhys each obtain a mysterious artifact that, when joined together, displays a map to a Vault.
A construct of Handsome Jack appears to Rhys, threatening to kill him. Rhys, obviously startled, tells Jack that he is dead and is merely a hologram. They infer that Jack's consciousness was aboard the data drive he took from Nakayama. Meanwhile, Fiona, Sasha and Vaughn uncover the location of a secret Atlas facility which they hope will lead them to the Vault.
The team meets back up with Loader Bot, and travel to Hollow Point for repairs to the caravan. They are shot at by the moonshots on Helios, and Rhys and Vaughn are separated from Fiona and Sasha.
Rhys and Vaughn travel across the desert until they encounter Vasquez, furious at Rhys for the blown Vault Key deal. Rhys and Vaughn escape thanks to help from Jack and Loader Bot.
Fiona and Sasha arrive at Hollow Point, and with the help from Scooter, repair the caravan. The sisters are attacked by two goons whilst looking through their old home; Kroger and Finch. They escape from Kroger and Finch and run into Athena, whom they also narrowly escape from. The sisters are reunited with Rhys, Vaughn and Loader Bot, and they leave for the abandoned town of Old Haven, where the Atlas facility is located.
They discover an Atlas facility hidden underneath the town, but are ambushed by Vasquez and August. Rhys and Fiona take their artifacts and join them with a machine deep in the facility, all whilst Vaughn and Sasha are held at gunpoint. The machine connects the artifacts and releases an object known as Gortys, a large sphere. Rhys triggers the facilities security system, deploying drones. They meet up with Vaughn and Sasha amidst a firefight between August's goons and the facility's security drones, and manage to escape. Outside of the facility, the team run into a bandit boss by the name of Vallory who orchestrated the Vault Key deal. August and Vasquez emerge from the facility and are interrogated by Vallory, who kills Vasquez and demands that Fiona and Rhys hand over Gortys. Vallory attempts to execute Fiona before she is stopped by Athena, who scares off Vallory, her son August and their goons.
Rhys activates Gortys, and she reveals that she can locate and control the Vault of the Traveler, but needs a few upgrades first. Athena joins the crew as they set off for Gortys' first upgrade.
Along the way, Jack, who has been berating Rhys since revealing himself, and Rhys form a hasty alliance, although Rhys never fully trusts Jack.
The team arrives at an Atlas biodome situated far out in the tundra. They encounter an Atlas scientist named Cassius who reveals where the upgrade they are seeking is located. The team splits up, with Vaughn, Loader Bot and Gortys staying behind with Cassius, while Rhys and Sasha seek out the Atlas Security Station, and Fionna and Athena go after the upgrade.
Fionna and Athena recover the upgrade and are attacked by Vallory upon meeting back up with everyone. The group is separated once again across the facility. Rhys meets up with Sasha and Loader Bot and they attempt to rescue Gortys who is being pursued by August. Fionna, elsewhere, finds Athena fighting Brick and Mordecai, however they are both incapacitated. Vallory gathers the prisoners and tells them that they are working for her now to try and recoup her losses from the failed Vault Key deal. Athena is hauled off by Brick and Mordecai, who Vallory reveals were hired to remove her from the picture. Gortys reveals that her last upgrade is on Helios station in Jack's old office.
Back in Sanctuary, Athena recounts the events of the presequel to Lilith while being interrogated. Lilith orders her execution, but Athena is saved when a mysterious Guardian known as The Watcher tells Lilith that there is a war coming, and that they are going to need all the Vault Hunters they can get. Lilith, having already sent Gaige and Axton to Epitah in search of new Vaults, contacts them and tells them to spare the life of Aurelia, whom they found on the planet.
Fionna, Sasha, Loader Bot, Gortys, and August travel to Hollow Point to seek help from Scooter and Janey. Meanwhile, Rhys, Kroger and Finch travel back to Old Haven to recover the face of Vasquez, which Rhys says will let him digistruct a disguise to get them into the station. Vaughn is left at the biodome with Cassius. They return to Hollow point, and the team, along with Scooter, launch to Helios. Along the way, the rocket sucks up the corpse of Henderson, which requires immediate attention. Fionna and Scooter go outside to detach the rockets, but Scooter is caught and sacrifices himself to keep the mission going.
The team arrives on Helios, and Rhys, disguised as Vasquez, encounters a furious Yvette. Rhys knocks her out, out of fear of compromising the mission, while Fionna and Gortys attempt to infiltrate A Hyperion tour to gain access to Handsome Jack's office. When that plan goes awry, Jack reveals to Rhys that there is a hidden trapdoor into his office. Rhys, Fionna and Gortys meet up below Jack's office, where Rhys enters the office and retrieves the upgrade. Here, Rhys claims the deed to the Atlas corporation, which Jack has been holding onto since destroying the company. Jack convinces Rhys to sit in his chair, and either traps him and uploads himself into Helios's computer, or convinces Rhys to upload Jack of his own volition. EIther way, Jack now has control of Helios station, and tells Rhys that he is going to graft an endoskeleton into him so he’ll have a new body to control, however Rhys escapes.
Rhys encounters Yvette, who he explains to that Jack has control of the station. Yvette joins them as her and Rhys head for the reactor core while Fionna and Gortys are ordered to evacuate back to the shuttle.
Fionna and Gortys encounter August who leads them back to the shuttle, where they are betrayed by Finch and Kroger, who take Sasha, Gortys and her final upgrade.
Rhys and Yvette enter the reactor core, where Jack tries to stop them, however they successfully shut down the core, triggering a meltdown. The entire station is evacuated, and Loader Bot sacrifices himself to launch Yvette and Rhys's escape pods. Fionna escapes at this time, as does August.
With Helios falling out of the sky, the scattered crew lands in what appears to be the Eridium Blight. Rhys makes his way to Jack's shattered office, where Jack manages to jump back into Rhys. Rhys's mechanical arm is skewered on a piece of metal, and he rips it off, as well as digging his cybernetics out of his head, despite Jack's pleading. Rhys tears out his echo-eye, and either destroys the device or holds onto it. Either way, Jack is no longer a threat to Rhys or the crew.
Elsewhere, Fionna emerges from her escape pod, and begins searching for her sister. A fleeing bandit informs her that Vallory upgraded Gortys and that the Vault was opened. Fionna picks her way across the wreckage, finding Vallory shooting a rocket launcher off into the distance. She attempts to confront Vallory, but is stopped by Finch who says that her sister put up a fight. Fionna kills Finch and confronts Vallory, who says that they need to destroy Gortys (now a gigantic robot) because she is keeping the Vault monster on Pandora. Vallory is smashed and Fionna rushes over to the launcher and aims it at Gortys. Sasha appears and helps her, and the two destroy the beacon atop Gortys, which releases the Traveler..
With Gortys seemingly destroyed and their adventure over, Fionna and Sasha return to their old ways in Hollow Point, while Rhys travels back to Cassius's facility and is outfitted with new cybernetics. Fiona and Rhys receive ECHO beacons roughly a year later, which leads them to the town of Prosperity Junction, where the whole adventure started. They are both kidnapped by a mysterious Stranger, who demands they retell their entire story, from the Vault Key deal to the opening of the Vault.
They both tell their stories as they travel back toward the wreckage of Helios, where the Stranger turns them over to Kroger, in exchange for a captured bandit. Kroger threatens to kill Fiona, but is strangled to death by the Stranger. The bandit reveals himself to be Vaughn, who has adopted the leadership of the surviving Hyperion employees.
Vaughn leads Rhys and Fiona back to his home on Helios with the Stranger in tow, while explaining how Cassius helped him escape from the Atlas biodome following Vallory's ambush. Vaughn made his way to the wreck of Helios and began organizing the survivors.
Back at Helios, Rhys, Fiona and Vaughn interrogate the Stranger, who reveals himself to be Loader Bot. Loader Bot explains that he survived the crash of Helios and witnessed Fiona and Sasha destroy Gortys. Betrayed, he transferred himself into Jack's exoskeleton and formulated a plan to rebuild Gortys. He captured Rhys and Fiona to better understand what happened, but with the air cleared, Loader Bot revealed his plan. He scavenged up Gortys's parts and hopes to reactivate her, this time with proper assistance from Rhys and Fiona this time.
Vaughn shares a plan to defeat The Traveler, a massive Vault monster that has teleportation abilities. He tasks Fiona and Sasha with detonating a bomb inside the monster to cripple it, while Gortys will fight the monster into position in front of Helios's moonshot cannon.
Fiona recruits a team of people to help. Gortys is reassembled and the Vault of the Traveler appears. Gortys is adamant about fighting The Traveler again, however Rhys reassures her that this time will be different. The team forces The Traveler to teleport, at which point Fiona and Sasha jump the caravan into it with a bomb. Inside of the monster, Fiona plants the bomb, however as they make their escape, the detonator fails to work. Sasha sacrifices herself to detonate the bomb while Fiona escapes. The bomb is detonated and Gortys wrestles The Traveler in front of the moonshot, where The Traveler is blasted apart.
The team finds Sasha dead, but she is resuscitated by one of Felix's gadgets. While the team begins scavenging loot, Fiona and Rhys head toward the Vault, reminiscing about their adventure and Rhys's attraction to Sasha. They enter the Vault and head up a staircase leading to a chest. They open it together and disappear as they Vault teleports them away.
Events leading up to Borderlands 3
It is unknown what happens to Rhys, Fiona, Sasha, Vaughn, and the other Tales characters at this time. What we do know is that whatever Rhys found inside the Vault allowed him to rebuild the Atlas corporation with help of Zero. Vaughn stays on Pandora with his clan of bandits within the remains of Helios.
Colonel Hector and his Dahl Battalion escape the mine they were trapped in at some point after it was discovered by Cassius, and upon finding out Pandora is a desolate wasteland, become hellbent on creating the paradise the Dahl Corporation promised them long ago. The New Pandora military clear Vaughn’s bandit gang out of the remains of Helios and attack the Crimson Raiders’ base of Sanctuary with a toxic gas which leads to rapid growth of plant life, created by Cassius.
Lilith and the Crimson Raiders are forced to flee Sanctuary, and come across Vaughn in a bandit outpost known as The Backburner. They team up to stop Hector. The Raiders come across Cassius at the site of the collapsed mine where Hector and the New Pandoran army were trapped, and upon learning that the gas is being used for evil, Cassius agrees to help make an antidote. Hector floods the facility with gas, infecting Cassius who must be killed so that the Raiders can make an antidote. Cassius’ blood is harvested and an antidote is created. The Raiders assault Sanctuary, now overgrown with plants. Hector has ingested the gas, mutating him into a monster who consumes the Vault Key and Sanctuary. Lilith has no choice but to destroy the floating city, killing Hector and scattering the Vault Key somewhere in the Pandoran desert.
Now without a base, Ellie, sister of Scooter, is tasked with building a new base of operations for the Raiders, the Sanctuary III spaceship (don’t ask what happened to Sanctuary II)
Pandora experiences a period of (relative) peace, with the corporations gone and Hector’s New Pandoran army defeated. The Crimson Raiders mostly dissolve, with the Vault Hunters going their separate ways. Maya retires to the ancestral Siren world of Athenas to train a girl who will become a new Siren, Ava, Gaige becomes a wedding planner, Kreig secludes himself in a cave to mend his mind and conflicting personalities, and Axton and Salvador become game show hosts.
The Calypso Twins begin spreading their gospel about the Great Vault over the ECHOnet, gaining a large following. They find that the bandits and psychos of Pandora are especially susceptible to their propaganda, and the various bandit clans of the planet begin to unite under them, becoming known as The Children of the Vault. The sheer number of bandits and psychos following the Twins alarms Lilith, who begins to reunite the Crimson Raiders to fight back.
7 years pass between the events of Borderlands 2 and Borderlands 3.
Borderlands 3
It is the year 2887. Lilith sends out a distress call for new Vault Hunters, attracting FL4K, Moze, Zane and Amara, a Siren, to Pandora, where they help Lilith assault a Children of the Vault base. Lilith tasks them with finding the Pandoran Vault Key that was lost following the destruction of Sanctuary. The team encounters Vaughn, who helps them recover the Key, which directs them to the ecumenopolis of Promethea. Before they can board Sanctuary III however, Lilith’s Siren powers are leached by Tyreen in an ambush. The Children of the Vault take off to Promethea, where they believe the Great Vault is located.
The Crimson Raiders follow them to Promethea where they find the planet under siege by the Maliwan Corporation, led by Katagawa Jr.. The Raiders make contact with Rhys, now CEO of the reformed Atlas, who requests their help breaking the Siege. The Raiders travel down to the surface and successfully hold off Maliwan forces, which have allied themselves with the Children of the Vault. Rhys directs the Raiders to Athenas, where part of the Promethean Vault Key is under protection of Maya and the Sages. The Crimson Raiders travel to Athenas and repel the Maliwan assault there, claiming a piece of the Promethean Vault Key and recruiting Maya and Ava.
The Raiders rejoin the fight on Promethea and manage to recover the other pieces of the Vault Key after killing Katagawa Jr. They travel to the Promethean Vault, believing it to be the Great Vault that the Twins are seeking. Inside the Vault however, they find a Vault Monster, The Rampager, and not the Great Vault. Tyreen and Troy arrive at the Vault after the Vault Hunters kill the beast, and Tyreen leaches the Rampager’s energy, revealing their plan to absorb the powers of Vault Monsters. Maya is killed while attempting to save Ava from the Calypso Twins.
The Crimson Raiders regroup on Sanctuary III. Tannis suggests that the Raiders slay the Vault Monsters before Tyreen can leach their energy. The Crimson Raiders travel to the swamp planet of Eden-6, headquarters of the Jakobs corporation. There, they meet Wainwright Jakobs, heir to the Jakobs corporation. He informs the Vault Hunters that Alistair Hammerlock, his lover, has been captured by his sister, Aurelia, who has claimed the Jakobs corporation with help of the Children of the Vault. The Vault Hunters rescue Alistair, acquire the pieces of the Eden-6 Vault Key, and confront Aurelia in Jakob’s Manor, killing her. They open the Vault hidden beneath the manor, and kill The Graveward before Tyreen can leach the monster’s power. Infuriated, she takes Tannis captive.
The Raiders pursue the Twins back to Pandora, where they rescue Tannis from bandit bosses, Pain and Terror. It is here that Tannis reveals her Siren powers to the Raiders. Troy begins the process of opening the Great Vault, activating its Vault Key, the moon of Elpis, which begins to tear Pandora apart. The Raiders assault the Children of the Vault headquarters, and kill Troy who is leaching his power from Tyreen. Upon killing him, Troy’s Siren powers, which were in turn stolen from Maya, are passed onto Ava. Tyreen escapes before the Vault Hunters are able to kill her.
The Vault Hunters are shortly contacted by Typhon DeLeon, who summons them to Nekrotafeyo. When the Vault Hunters meet the first Vault Hunter, he explains to them that Pandora is the Great Vault, and that if Tyreen wakes the Destroyer, she will be able to leach its powers and become the most powerful Siren in existence. He points the Vault Hunters to the Machine, the massive engine that sealed the Destroyer away in Pandora long ago. With the Pandoran, Promethean, Eden-6 and Nekrotafeyo Vault Keys, the Machine can be reactivated and the Destroyer can be sealed away once again. Before the Machine can be activated however, Tyreen teleports onto the planet, disabling it and mortally wounding her father, Typhon. Typhon tells the Vault Hunters not to be the last of their kind before succumbing to his injuries.
The Vault Hunters chase Tyreen back to Pandora just as she leaches the power of the Destroyer, merging with it. The Vault Hunters fight hard and eventually defeat Tyreen the Destroyer, which returns Lilith’s Siren powers. Lilith, in an effort to stop the Great Vault from being opened and destroying Pandora, sacrifices herself, flying up to Elpis and branding the moon with the firehawk symbol. Pandora, and the universe is saved.
Events leading up to Borderlands 4(?)
Following the battle, the Moxxi and the Vault Hunters travel to the Handsome Jackpot where they find Timothy Lawrence. After Hyperion collapsed, the station fell into chaos. Jack’s former court jester, Pretty Boy has gained control of the station, and is seeking Timothy’s “winning hand” access, which would allow him to take control of the Loaderbot factory deep within the station’s bowels. The Vault Hunters defeat Pretty Boy, and Moxxi agrees to go on a date with Timothy Lawrence.
Elsewhere, on the frozen world of Xylourgos Wainwright and Hammerlock prepare their wedding, planned by Gaige. It is briefly interrupted by a fanatic cult worshipping the still beating heart of a long dead Vault Monster, but it is nothing the Vault Hunters cannot deal with.
Tannis, in an effort to study the minds of psychos, begins examining Kreig’s broken mind, and helps him come to terms with what's happened to him and Maya’s death, bringing him back into the fold.
THE END
So far...
I believe this is the most comprehensive story of the Borderlands Series so far. If I missed anything or got anything wrong, please correct me in the comments! Thanks for reading everyone!
submitted by Moldeyawsome12 to Borderlands [link] [comments]

Stokes's Bristol Nightclub incident in detail (From: The Comeback Summer by Geoff Lemon)

IF YOU’RE LOOKING for a place where misadventure could begin, you can’t go past Mbargo. The nightclub’s streetfront is painted a purple so bright you’ll see it in your dreams. Strings of giant sequins shimmer in the breeze. Its phonically inventive name is spelt in silver letters that climb its three-storey terrace facade. Inside are strips of burning neon, a few booths, floorboards so marinated in drink that they have an ingredients list. Bristol is a student city on England’s south coast crowded with music and nightlife and street art. This is Banksy’s home town, and the tourism board suggests in rather strong terms that ‘you would be a fool not to see his amazing work firsthand’. The same organisation describes Mbargo as ‘intimate’, which is fair for a place where you can catch an STI standing up. Students cram into its modest dimensions while people with names like DJ Klaud battle for billing with £1.50 drink deals over seven sloppy nights a week. To get a sense of the story about to come, consider that it’s the kind of place open until two o’clock on a Monday morning, and that at two o’clock on a Monday morning, Ben Stokes still thought it had closed too early.
The Ashes of 2017–18 had disciplinary bookends. It was after that series that Australia’s two leaders went off the rails in South Africa. It was a few weeks before that Ashes tour that England’s biggest star windmilled his way into his own disaster.
In the early hours of 25 September 2017, Stokes and teammate Alex Hales were barred from re-entering Mbargo after a night out on the piss. A Sunday thrashing of an abject West Indies in an ignored series at the fag-end of the season apparently required ample celebration. After arguing with the bouncer and hanging about at the door for a while, they wandered off to find a casino in the hope of more drinking. They’d barely made it around the corner before getting in the middle of a conflict between four locals. As is said on the internet, it escalated quickly.
The 26 September reporting was bloodless. Withholding names, police stated that a man ‘was arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm’ while another went to hospital with facial injuries. England’s director of cricket Andrew Strauss separately confirmed that Stokes was the arrestee, adding that he had been released without charge and that Hales had gamely offered to ‘help police with their enquiries’. Administrators had a good chance of hiding behind that investigation, and the next day Stokes was named in the upcoming Ashes squad as expected. But that night the video emerged.
Bristol student Max Wilson had shot it on his phone, then offered it to The Sun. What he thought was playing hardball was actually lowball: his opening price of £3000 was snapped up by a tabloid that would have paid ten times that. The Sun went on to make a mint by syndicating the rights worldwide. From a window above the fray, the vision showed six men on the street below performing the muddled choreography of a melee. One was right at the centre of it. One was waving a bottle, one dipped in and out, one tried to calm it. Two others floated around the edges. The central figure was unmistakable: red hair burning even in the streetlight as he launched into a series of blows against two of the men, falling to grapple with them on the ground, then following both across the street, swinging punches the whole way. Hales trailed behind, repeatedly and impotently shouting ‘Stokes! Stop! Stokes! Enough!’ The ECB could fudge issues that existed only in thickets of legalese, but not those captured in moving colour. Stokes was stood down from the next West Indies match, then suspended indefinitely. It emerged that he had broken his hand during the fight, something he’d done twice before while punching objects in dressing rooms.
The response in Australia was fierce: Stokes was a thug, a lowlife, a selection that would disgrace England. It was not entirely coincidental that a ban for England’s best player would be handy for the Aussie team, but there was also a cultural split. In England, plenty of people still minimise pub fights as lads letting off steam. In Australia, heavy media coverage as a succession of young men were killed had inverted that tolerance. The discourse now saw any punch as potentially deadly and accordingly reckless. This was more poignant in a cricket context given that David Hookes, the dashing Test batsman and state coach, was killed in 2004 by a pub bouncer’s fist.
The PR situation was bad for Stokes as details emerged of the injuries to the men he’d hit, and that one was a young war veteran and father. Stokes wasn’t officially removed from the Ashes squad through October but stayed behind when his teammates left, hoping for police to dismiss the matter in time for a late dash to Australia. His annual contract was renewed on the due date in case that came to pass. Then 29 October brought a twist in the tale.
‘Ben Stokes praised by gay couple after defending them from homophobic thugs,’ ran the headline. Kai Barry and Billy O’Connell had emerged. Not entirely out of nowhere: while Stokes had made no public comment, this story in his defence had initially been leaked to TV host Piers Morgan after the fight, as soon as the video appeared. Police body-camera footage played in court would later show that Stokes had given the same story to the arresting officer on the night. But no-one knew the identities of the fifth and sixth men in the video, and police appeals had turned up nothing.
It was The Sun again with the breakthrough. Kai and Billy were perfect for a readership not keen on nuance. ‘We couldn’t believe it when we found out they were famous cricketers. I just thought Ben and Alex were quite hot, fit guys,’ said Kai, who was memorably described as a ‘former House of Fraser sales assistant’. The paper had the pair do a full photo shoot: layering the fake tan, showing off chest waxes, mixing Ralph Lauren and Louis Vuitton into a range of outfits. Their best shot had them standing back to back, heads turned to the camera, in a mirror-image Zoolander moment.
Suddenly The Sun was the England team’s best friend. ‘Their claims could lead to the all-rounder being cleared over the punch-up and freed to play in the First Test in Australia next month,’ it gushed, then gave a tasting platter of quotes: ‘We were so grateful to Ben for stepping in to help. He was a real hero.’ ‘If Ben hadn’t intervened it could have been a lot worse for us.’ ‘We could’ve been in real trouble. Ben was a real gentleman.’ Would it be known forever as Kai and Billy’s Ashes? No. While the Bristol boys provided spin for Stokes’ reputation they didn’t influence the police. With charges still pending there was little choice – not given Strauss had previously sacked Kevin Pietersen for being annoying. Stokes remained suspended through the Ashes and a one-day series in Australia, and lost the vice-captaincy. It was January 2018 before the Crown Prosecution Service laid a charge.
That charge surprisingly came in as affray, a crime that can carry prison time but is classified as ‘a breach of the peace as a result of disorderly conduct’. The men he had punched, Ryan Ali and Ryan Hale, faced the same count, charged as equal participants in a fight rather than Stokes being charged with assaulting them. Alex Hales was not charged, despite being seen in the video to aim several kicks when Ryan Ali was lying on the ground. Given the underwhelming standing of the offence, Stokes was cleared by the ECB to tour New Zealand, and kept playing until his trial in August 2018, which he missed a Test to attend. None of the three defendants would be convicted.
The reasoning behind the charges was never released and was attributed vaguely to ‘CPS lawyers’. The service gave the case to Alison Morgan, a prosecutor of a class known as Treasury Counsel who usually handle serious criminal matters. Morgan had a scheduling clash and never ended up court for the case, but in 2018 and 2019 she would go on to win damages and admissions of libel from The Daily Mail, The Times and The Daily Telegraph variously for incorrectly reporting that she had been responsible for the inadequate and inconsistent charging decisions.
Morgan’s successor on the case was Nicholas Corsellis QC, who on the first day of trial was permitted by the CPS to request two assault charges be added against Stokes. ‘Upon further review,’ claimed a CPS statement, ‘we considered that additional assault charges would also be appropriate.’ This was patent nonsense from the service that eight months earlier had chosen the lesser charge. Any lawyer knows that no judge will allow new charges once a trial has begun, because the defence hasn’t had time to prepare. But such a request could deflect criticism of the prosecution service by technically making the judge the one who disallows the charge.
Working through the story from the trial and the tape is complicated. You had a Ryan and a Ryan, a Hale and a Hales, a Billy and a Barry and a Ben. You had several versions of events as to who knew whom, who was drinking with whom, who had insulted whom and who had merely engaged in ‘banter’, a word that in modern Britain has to do an unconscionable amount of lifting. The reporting had constantly mixed up the Ryans as to who had which injury, who was in hospital, who had played which part in the fight, and whose mum had which stern words to say about it.
Let’s agree that from now Ryan Ali is Ryan One, the firefighter who ended up with a fractured eye socket and a cracked tooth. Ryan Two can be Ryan Hale, the soldier who scored concussion and facial lacerations. Mr Barry and Mr O’Connell are best known per The Sun as Kai and Billy. In scorecard parlance we’ll leave the cricketers as Stokes and Hales.
Amid the confusion, Stokes and his lawyers built his case in a straightforward way. The UK legal definition of affray is ‘if a person threatens or uses unlawful violence or force towards another person, which causes another person of reasonable firmness present at the scene to fear for their safety’. That means it doesn’t account for violence that harms a target, but violence that might frighten a theoretical bystander. The wiggle room for Stokes was with ‘unlawful’, because the charge excuses violence in defending oneself or others.
This interpretation hinged on the beginning of the video, where Ryan One waves a beer bottle about and takes a swing at Kai. The version from Stokes was that he was minding his own business walking down the street when he heard homophobic abuse. He intervened verbally and was threatened verbally by Ryan One – something that Ryan One denied but that couldn’t be proved or disproved. In fear for his safety Stokes had to nullify that threat by bashing Ryan One before it went the other way. He registered Ryan Two in his peripheral vision as another possible threat, and again had only one recourse.
Stokes also had to convince the jury to disregard testimony from Mbargo’s bouncer that he had been looking for a fight. A solid lump of a man, Andrew Cunningham had not enjoyed his patron’s attempts to get back into the club after the bouncer declined an offer of a bribe. ‘He got a bit verbally abusive towards myself. He mentioned my gold teeth and he said I looked like a cunt and I replied, “Thank you very much.” He just looked at me and told me my tattoos were shit and to look at my job.’ Cunningham described these words as coming in ‘a spiteful tone, quite an angry tone’, and said that Stokes still seemed angry as he walked away.
These were details the doorman had nothing to gain by inventing, but each of them Stokes denied. By his own accounting he had drunk a beer at the game and three pints at his hotel, then ‘potentially had some Jägerbombs’ along with half a dozen vodkas at the club. He insisted that after all of this he was not drunk.
If I may take a moment here to call upon the wisdom of experience – a person who cannot definitively say whether they have had any Jägerbombs has definitely had some Jägerbombs. A Jägerbomb is an experience that does not pass one by. Further to that, a person who says they have ‘potentially’ done something has definitely done that thing and doesn’t want to admit it. A person who has had between 15 and 24 standard drinks in one evening is shitfaced. A person who tries to bribe a bouncer £300 – three hundred quid! – to get into Mbargo – Mbargo! – is beyond shitfaced.
If Stokes admitted that he was drunk then the prosecution could say he was out of control. He claimed clear recall of assessing a threat, feeling fear and deciding to protect himself with force. He confidently denied details from the bouncer’s testimony, like using the word ‘cunt’ or mentioning gold teeth. Yet on other details he claimed a ‘significant memory blackout’. He didn’t remember the punch that saw Ryan One taken away by ambulance. He didn’t remember what the Ryans had said to Kai and Billy, only that those words were homophobic. With no head injury, as one of the few people who hadn’t been hit, he had supposedly suffered this memory loss despite being sober.
The version from Kai and Billy was compatible but vague: they had been walking along, they ‘heard … shouts’ of abuse from an unspecified source, then Stokes ‘stepped in’ and thus they avoided possible harm. They claimed to have been bought a drink by Stokes at Mbargo, although CCTV showed them meeting outside. The overall implication from both accounts was that the cricketers had been pals with Kai and Billy, while the Ryans as per The Sun’s headline were a roving band of thugs.
The reality though is that the Ryans were the ones hanging out with Kai and Billy at Mbargo. Police discussed CCTV from inside the club in questioning and at trial. On that footage the four Bristolians bought drinks for one another, danced together, and Kai was noted to have variously touched Ryan Two’s crotch and Ryan One’s buttock. Ryan One told police that all of this was taken lightheartedly and wasn’t a problem. Indeed, when the Ryans called it a night the other two left with them.
This much is clear from footage out the front of Mbargo, which shows Kai and Billy exit the club and start talking with a subdued Hales and a demonstrative Stokes, who are stuck outside. The vision was played in court to determine whether Stokes was antagonistic towards Kai and Billy, as he appears to impersonate them and to throw a lit cigarette their way. More interesting is that after a few minutes the Ryans emerge, and all six actors in the fight video briefly form a prequel in the one frame.
Ryan Two pats Billy on the chest in friendly fashion with his right hand before clapping him on the back with his left. He moves past and does the same to Kai before leaving the shot. Ryan One stops to speak to Kai. They lean in for a moment, talking, then Kai turns and they walk out of frame together. Billy hangs around for a few seconds at the door and then looks after them and races to catch up. Stokes and Hales remain outside the club to remonstrate further with the bouncers. Whatever discord develops around the corner is between four men who left amicably together minutes earlier.
There’s no way to know what caused that friction. If Ryan One did use homophobic slurs, he might have been drunkenly obnoxious for no reason. He might have had an insecure macho response to some extra flirtation. He might have thought unkindness was funny – ‘banter’ once again. Or he might have said something that was misunderstood, as both Ryans insisted in court that they had not used nor had the impulse to use any abusive language.
What clearly didn’t happen was an attack by bigots on random passers-by. This kind of crime is regular enough that an audience understands the horror of it, and this is what was evoked by the public accounts of Stokes, Billy and Kai. All we know is that there was some verbal dispute among the Bristol locals, and that Stokes came along behind them and put himself in the middle of it. Ryan One responded to the interference aggressively and away they went. There are plenty of reasons to look sideways at the idea that Stokes was a saviour. Foremost, neither Kai nor Billy was called upon as witnesses in court. You’d think it would be ideal to have Stokes’ story backed up by those who benefited from his selflessness. But his defence team had developed the impression that the pair had shown a changeable recall of events amid a hard-partying lifestyle, and would be dismantled by the prosecution on the stand.
That raises the question of whether The Sun coached their quotes for the 2017 interview. Despite missing court, Kai and Billy clearly enjoyed the attention. In 2018 after the trial they did a follow-up spread in the same paper about how poor Ben had been mistreated. They got a television spot on Good Morning Britain and glowed about his heroism. In 2019 The Sun wheeled them out once more to say that Stokes should get a knighthood. In 2017 they had ‘never watched cricket’ but by 2019 were supposedly volunteering sentences like, ‘He saved us, now he’s saved the Ashes.’ Whether they were paid for these appearances is not known, but the chance to be famous for a day can be lure enough.
If you find this cynical, consider that on the night in question, the Bristol boys were so deeply moved and thankful for Ben’s intervention that they left him to be arrested and never attempted to find out who he was. Seconds after the video ended, an off-duty policeman reached the scene. You might think that someone grateful to a saviour would speak on his behalf. Instead, said Kai, ‘it all got a bit scary so we walked off. It was too much for me and we went to Quigley’s takeaway for chicken burgers and cheesy chips.’ They didn’t give their hero a thought for over a month while police issued multiple appeals for witnesses.
As for Stokes, he told his arresting officer that ‘his friends’ had been attacked. After three minutes of chat outside a nightclub, these friends were so dear to him that he has never contacted them again: not after the newspaper piece, not after the verdict. He didn’t want to see how they were or thank them for their support. He didn’t mention them by name in his solicitor’s statement after the trial.
The Stokes defence rested on Ryan One’s bottle, which he had carried out of Mbargo to finish a beer, not to use in a Sharks versus Jets amateur production. But once he turned it over to hold it by the neck it became a weapon. Intent and interpretation can change the material nature of things. Part of Stokes’ justification in court was that the bottle implied that the two Ryans might have ‘other weapons’ hidden away. You can understand how a jury could decide that created doubt.
Not being convicted, though, doesn’t give the contents of the video a big green tick. It does not, as his lawyer claimed, vindicate Stokes. Looking in detail, Ryan One is belligerent but his movements telegraph a bluff. Hales is the person he’s gesturing at, but they’re several metres apart when Ryan One cocks his arm ostentatiously, showing off the bottle rather than bracing to swing. He skips forward but Hales skips back and Ryan One doesn’t follow. Kai stretches out an arm to impede Ryan One, who has a drunken stumble, nearly eats pavement, then staggers towards Kai and hits him in the back. That hand is still holding the bottle, but his strike is a side-arm cuff on a soft part of the body. It’s all pretty tame.
This is where Stokes gets involved. Having moved across to protect Hales, he now takes three large steps to run around Kai and booms his first punch at Ryan One. They fall to the ground and the bottle clinks away. Stokes gets to his feet to punch down at the fallen man, while Hales arrives to kick him ineffectively then runs off across the street for some unknown reason. Ice-cream van? Stokes is soon back in the grapple having his shirt pulled up to show off his Durham tan. Ryan Two steps in for the first time to pull Stokes away, prompting a couple more random punches at this new target, then Stokes trips backwards over Ryan One and sprawls in the street. Hales chooses this moment to return and aim some solid kicks at the head of the man on the ground. Nothing so far is a triumph of moral philosophy or the pugilistic arts. But if it all stopped here, perhaps you could say it was somewhere approaching fair. Ryan One has behaved like a turnip and it’s not an entirely unjust world that would give him a whack across the chops. The antagonists have disentangled, Stokes has some distance, it’s time to dust off and go home. Ryan Two steps forward for this purpose with his palm raised in conciliatory style and says, ‘Settle down, stop.’
So Stokes punches him.
It’s roughly his fifth punch overall, and he really winds up into this one. He misses so hard that he stumbles away into the shadows of the shop awnings along the road.
Hales starts shouting for him to stop. Ryan Two backs into the street, still holding his palm up. Stokes closes on him from about five metres away, six large steps, to where Ryan Two is standing on his own. Stokes pushes him a couple of times, as Ryan Two keeps trying to placate him and saying ‘Stop.’ Stokes throws his sixth punch, largely missing as his target ducks.
Ryan Two keeps pulling away and reversing, into the middle of the street now. Stokes follows him, grabbing his sleeve to drag him back. By this point Ryan One has found his feet and walked around behind his friend. Both of them are in the same line of sight for Stokes, and both are backing away. Stokes aims his seventh and his eighth punches, which Ryan Two tries to deflect, as Hales walks up behind Stokes to grab him.
Stokes yanks away from his friend and switches to Ryan One instead, taking seven paces to grab him before throwing his ninth punch of the night. He grabs again; Ryan One blocks that arm and pushes himself back away from Stokes. Ryan Two again intercedes, putting himself between the two with his palms up and his arm extended.
Stokes throws his tenth punch, a right-hander at the face of Ryan Two, then shoves him backwards. Ryan Two backs away once more, four paces. Stokes follows, steadies, lines up, then launches his strongest punch yet, his eleventh, a proper right hook from a solid base, one that cracks across the man’s head and gives him concussion. Ryan Two ends up flat on his back in the middle of the street, his hands still outstretched for a moment in useless protest until they twitch and drop to the blacktop.
Stokes isn’t done. He once more shoves away the restraining Hales and follows Ryan One, who keeps backing away saying, ‘Alright, alright, alright.’ Five more paces from Stokes before another blow at the man’s head. Kai and Billy are now standing over the poleaxed Ryan Two. The video ends, but seconds later Stokes will punch Ryan One hard enough to knock him out too, before off-duty cop Andrew Spure arrives on the scene to bring down the curtain. When the body-camera footage kicks in some minutes later, Stokes is in handcuffs but Ryan One is still laid out in the street. Ryan Two has regained consciousness, folded his shirt under his friend’s head and is asking police for an ambulance.
‘At this point, I felt vulnerable and frightened. I was concerned for myself and others.’ This was how Stokes described that sequence to the court. An elite athlete with years of gym work and training to snap a bat through the line of a ball with astounding power and precision, swinging fists as hard as he can at men with none of those advantages. Punching so hard that he breaks his hand, and repeatedly shoving away a friend so he can punch some more. Frightened and threatened by two targets shouting ‘Get back!’ and ‘Stop!’
The off-duty officer testified that Stokes ‘seemed to be the main aggressor or was progressing forward trying to get to’ Ryan One, who was ‘trying to back away or get away from the situation’. The student who filmed the video can be heard on the tape at one stage exclaiming ‘Fuck!’ and testified that it was because ‘I felt a little bit sorry about the lad that had been punched and it looked like he had his hands up’. That tallied with the prosecutor’s depiction of ‘a sustained episode of significant violence that left onlookers shocked at what was taking place’.
The defendant stuck to his strategy. ‘No, my sole focus was to protect myself.’ All up, in the 33 seconds of footage after he falls over, Stokes takes 35 steps forward to keep hitting two men who keep trying to get away. Not once is he hit back.
After the verdict, Stokes’ solicitor positioned him as the victim. It had been ‘an eleven-month ordeal for Ben … The jury’s decision fairly reflects the truth of what happened that night … He was minding his own business … It was only when others came under threat that Ben became physically engaged. The steps that he took were solely aimed at ensuring the safety of himself and the others present …’ The statement was impossibly self-righteous and self-absorbed.
If there was anyone to feel sorry for it was Ryan Hale, the second of our two Ryans. He’s the one who emerged from the club with a friendly arm around the shoulder for Kai and Billy. He’s the one who interposed himself to end the fight, then kept putting himself back in the firing line, trying to calm an intimidating stranger while dodging blows. For his show of restraint he got laid out regardless, concussed in the street, then was issued a criminal charge equal to that of the man who hit him, and described in national media as a violent bigot in an untested story to support that man’s defence.
Lawyers for Ryan Two made a more convincing post-trial statement, noting that Kai and Billy, ‘neither of whom were relied upon by the prosecution or the defence team for Mr Stokes, have taken the opportunity to speak with various media outlets about the alleged homophobic abuse that they received in the early hours of September 25. Mr Hale has passionately denied this allegation throughout the course of this case,’ it continued.
‘It is upsetting to Mr Hale that although he was acquitted, the accusation that he was the author of such abuse remains. Both Mr Hale and Mr Ali were knocked unconscious by Mr Stokes, and although Mr Stokes has been acquitted of an affray, Mr Hale struggles with the reasons why the Crown Prosecution Service did not treat him as a victim of an unlawful assault.’Good question. Avon and Somerset police were the investigating force, and they were frustrated by the decision. Ryan Two was filmed clearly not hurting anyone, but police were instructed by the CPS to proceed with a charge. Hales (the cricketer) was filmed fighting but ‘a decision was made at a senior level of the CPS’ not to proceed. Police expected Stokes to be charged with assault but the CPS declined. It doesn’t take a wild cynic to think that placing the same lukewarm charge on three men for vastly divergent behaviour might ensure that none would be convicted, even as the trial would maintain the pretence that a defendant of influential standing had not been given a free pass.
A couple of years down the line, the original interview with Kai and Billy has disappeared. All traces have been scrubbed from The Sun website, its social media history, and even from the Wayback Machine internet archive. Given its headline of ‘homophobic thugs’ and text that names Ryan Two but not Ryan One, the libel liability isn’t hard to spot. Later interviews with Kai and Billy take the passive voice – they ‘suffered homophobic slurs outside a Bristol nightclub’.
The article that was once claimed to exonerate brave Ben Stokes now links only to a missing content page, with a picture of a dropped ice-cream cone and the phrase ‘legal removal’ inserted into the web URL. In terms of consequences, Stokes missed one tour. When he resumed his career in January 2018, the Australians hadn’t yet ruined theirs. Their year-long bans looked much more stringent. But the Stokes case dragged on in other ways. With no criminal liability, the Australians confessed promptly enough for the sporting world to give them the full length of the lash. Their situation was ugly but there was closure. Stokes got stuck in legal stasis, unable to be fully backed or condemned. Instead his issue was always present, a browser full of open tabs that the ECB swore they would read any day now.
Through 2018 Stokes was back but he wasn’t back, in the sunglasses and finger-guns sense. In his return one-day series he nearly cost England a match with 39 from 73 balls in Wellington. His first Test hit was a duck as England got rolled in Auckland for 58. At Trent Bridge while Stokes was injured, England posted a world record 481 against Australia. With Stokes three weeks later at the same ground they made 268. He crawled to 50 from 103, the second-slowest any Englishman had reached that milestone in 20 years. That span covered Alastair Cook’s whole career. It was apologetic batting, acting out responsibility via the scorecard. Stokes was creeping back into the team like he’d been kicked out in a blazing row and was hoping to tip-toe to the sofa.
It was December 2018 before the ECB disciplinary committee ruled on him and Hales. In a ‘remarkable coincidence’, wrote Simon Heffer in The Telegraph, ‘the punishment both players faced in terms of bans from playing at international level was covered by the amount of games they had already missed when dropped by England’s selectors, in the furore that followed the incident’. The verdict compounded the omissions around the case by not addressing the violence at its heart. Nor did Stokes, apologising only ‘to my team-mates, coaches and support staff’, and then ‘to England supporters and to the public for bringing the game into disrepute’.
The implicit next step was to rebuild that reputation. It might have been easier had his court defence not meant that he wasn’t game to admit any fault at all. It might have been easier if he or his advisers had been willing to change tack once the trial was done. Imagine a world where Stokes had stood outside court and apologised for overreacting, for the injuries he’d caused, and for the time and energy he had sucked out of other people’s lives. That would have been a show of responsibility beyond a scorecard. When the time came around to assess forgiveness, it might have meant forgiveness was deserved.
submitted by wingzero00 to Cricket [link] [comments]

[Let's Build] Attractions in a demon pleasure palace that aren't sexual

My players are going to be visiting the palace of a demon lord of pleasure who's more CN than CE. I want to show that despite his title, he represents all forms of pleasure and good feelings, not just sex. Also space in his realm doesn't work the same way as it does in the mortal plane. He essentially has an infinite amount of space to work with and can customize it as he pleases, so there are no size constraints.
  1. A casino to feel the thrill of gambling.
  2. A dining hall with an endless buffet that visitors are allowed to eat as much as they wish.
  3. An idyllic beach with perfectly white sand to relax or play on.
  4. An arena where gladiators brawl it out against each other. The point of it isn't to kill each other as much as make the battles look stunning to the audience.
  5. A hotel with the most comfortable beds possible. Here anyone with enough money can enjoy a good rest after all the excitement.
  6. A beautiful and well tended garden filled with aromatic flowers and sweet fruits.
  7. A vineyard where exquisitely-aged wine can be produced just by pressing the grapes. (u/_SovietMudkip_)
  8. A petting zoo full of the babies of dangerous creatures. (u/_SovietMudkip_)
  9. An opulent concert hall where the best musicians of the realms perform (u/_SovietMudkip_)
  10. A small, cozy looking wooden library, with a cushioned bay window where rain gently scatters against the glass and a cup of some hot liquid gently rising with steam. (u/QuietOracle)
  11. An owl-bear hugging zoo. Go to sleep in the embrace of their soft down. (u/QuietOracle)
  12. The room of sensory experiences. The room itself is fairly plain, with the main feature being long tables running the length of the room. On closer inspection there are fist-sized carved holes, each one holding a small round crystal... (u/QuietOracle)
  13. A room with dozens of sacks filled with beans, lentils and grains where visitors can put their hands in and let the contents run through their fingers. (u/_WhiteCubeCat_)
  14. A hag (or any other long nailed creature) giving visitors a scalp massage. (u/_WhiteCubeCat_)
  15. A museum of little-known or long-forgotten art pieces, sculptures, and history. (u/MoonlightMancer)
  16. A festival full of colors, music, and drinks. Everyone seems to love you, and you can’t stop laughing. (u/MoonlightMancer)
  17. A hallway of endless doors. In each room is someone you know, complimenting you endlessly, sharing every positive, even begrudgingly jealous thought they ever had about you. (u/MoonlightMancer)
  18. A room full of bubble wrap. (u/EmmaDrake)
  19. A hot spring/spa, with fluffy towels, those showers that are like rain with perfect water pressure, mud baths, and refreshing food and drink. (u/lionesslindsey)
  20. A room full of people that constantly give you validation and laugh at all your jokes. (u/CountryJeff)
  21. Never-ending line of gold chalices, crystal vases, silver artwork, and other valuables. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
  22. People who are “better” than you are marched in a stripped of their superior qualities. Beautiful people are disfigured and turned ugly. Wealthy powerful people are ruined and made to beg you for pennies. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
  23. Mass groups of people enter the room and tell you how they admire you and how wonderful you are. They stroke your ego and inflate your pride. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
  24. Servants do everything for you. Feed you, give you drinks, wash you, wipe your arse, etc. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
  25. You are given a wickedly barbed leather whip. A slave creature is bound to a post and you can whip this creature to inflict your wrath upon them as much as you desire. If the poor soul dies, another is brought in to replace them. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
  26. 'Knight for a day'. The full experience; lance, shiny outfit, a squire, a trusty stead, a dragon and a princess/prince to rescue. (u/mr_earthman)
  27. The magical equivalent of a holo deck (u/cyber-viper)
  28. Wide, flat plain with the fastest vehicles in the multiverse (a good place to use the Avernus vehicles) (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
  29. A selection of cities and villages for you to destroy with war machines or your own magic. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
  30. A collection of wand that allow you to test out powerful magic. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
  31. A magical version of a movie theatre, allowing you to watch all manner of stories, true and legendary. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
  32. A moderately large pool where small battleships with tiny animated crewmen can be deployed in teams to shell and board each other for the audience's amusement. Honored guests can put their strategic abilities to a test against other players by directly giving orders to their ships, and in certain hours guests may even swim in the pool to live out the power fantasy of being a sea monster. (u/VIixIXine)
  33. A colorizer-device that transforms any clothes/armoweapons/other gear to any desired hue you wish (as long as it doesn’t affect the workings of the gear) (u/PaigeOrion)
  34. A grand screen, showing a nearly infinite number of (screen)plays from all space and time, including the show with the disgraced human paladin delivering a green baby gnome back to his home land through incredible odds. (u/PaigeOrion)
  35. A tiara that allows you to experience the sensory experience of a black cat as long as you wear it and close your eyes. (u/PaigeOrion)
  36. A plethora of small, multicolored blocks that will magically interlock with one another to render almost any architectural structure imaginable. (But don’t step on them barefoot!) (u/PaigeOrion)
  37. A band of musicians who are the perfect musical backup for any performances. Alone, they are more low key, but no less skilled, playing haunting melodies of unknown origin. (u/PaigeOrion)
  38. A massive walk-in closet where you can try in any clothes in any fashion you like. (u/Tezla44)
  39. A "schadenfreude" theatre, with shows that rely on slapstick and cringe comedy. (u/Martinus_XIV)
  40. A REALLY good chocolate fountain (u/BrokenBanette)
  41. A room designed to give you closure. When you enter this room, someone you loved and lost is there, sitting in a couch. The room feels vaguely familiar, but you can't place why. If Detect Magic is used, the room is full of magic (divination, transmutation, illusion) but the person seems like a normal person. You can chat with them for as long as you like. They behave just as you remember them, with the good and the bad. (u/ohsurenerd)
  42. A theatre performing the most magnificent tragedies. When you watch the performance, you find yourself completely enraptured: you cheer when things go right, scream when something terrifying happens, and moan and weep at the inevitable horrible ending. When you leave, it feels like removing a backpack full of lead that you'd been carrying for so long you'd forgotten it was there. (u/ohsurenerd)
  43. A room where there's a button, there's someone outside and it explains that if you enter there's a 50/50 chance of you dying or not, the room won't actually kill you and it's there just to make you feel the pleasure of near death experience. (u/SupremeGodDictator)
  44. A massage parlor with the universes best staff pampering your every need as you receive the most relaxing massage of your life whether it be scalp, back, foot, full body, etc. Has the worlds fluffiest towels and robes to luxuriate in while you wait or if you simply want to sit in a comfy chair and enjoy your ache free muscles. (u/Blue_Mando)
  45. An arena where you and your opponents heal near instantly, and you can fight endlessly (u/ellen-the-educator)
  46. A reenactment of your greatest failures in life, but this time they turn into your greatest achievements. (u/CountryJeff)
  47. A room with the world's finest works of art.... and a myriad of implements you can use to destroy them. (u/redrosebeetle)
  48. A torture chamber with mages on hand to create illusions of the people you wish to torture. Or increasingly realistic versions of them, depending on the level of magic you wish to implement. (u/redrosebeetle)
  49. A room full of gold and jewels you can roll around in, ala Scrooge McDuck. But woe betide anyone who tries to take a souvenir.... (u/redrosebeetle)
  50. As you're walking through the gardens, a person comes up to you. They introduce themselves as an adventurer who's also here on a quest. They seem to be the same class as you, and they're incredibly attractive-- almost exactly your type. You immediately click and end up spending the day together, talking about everything and anything. You tell them things you've never told anyone else before. They understand everything you tell them, almost innately, but they're still impressed by your feats and your stories. The two of you find an empty bedroom and close the door behind you. It's perfect in its imperfections. In the morning they're gone. No matter where you look, you can't find them. (u/ohsurenerd)
  51. A room lined with shelves and shelves of bottles and vials containing a crimson liquid flowing slowly (like a syrup), all with small labels on them. As you inspect the labels, you realize they've all got names on them: famous adventurers, kings and queens, great sages. If you drink one, you experience a selection of their memories as they experienced them: battles won, discoveries made, historical alliances and friendships being forged or broken... (u/ohsurenerd)
  52. A room that turns anyone that enters it into a child. It is full of every toy imaginable (u/arual_x)
  53. A tour of a chocolate factory. Kobolds work there, and the owner, who gives the tour, is a Metallic Dragon in Humanoid form. (u/arual_x)
  54. A fortune teller who has a Deck of Many Things with only the good cards. If you in any way offend them, they will sleight of hand vs perception check slip you a bad card instead. (u/arual_x)
  55. An island theme park of reanimated dinosaurs. The owner is a level 20 Necromancer called Hamm Johnand. (u/arual_x)
  56. A Virtual Reality style game that allows you to battle horrible monsters over and over again without risk of injury physical. But still allows you to gain XP... (u/arual_x)
  57. A perfect expanse of thick snowy ground. There is constantly a snowball fight going on. (u/arual_x)
  58. A giant room full of mattresses where everyone immediately gets a wonderful massage. (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
  59. A room where you get to torture all of your worst enemies (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
  60. A room where people applaud you, give you a trophy, etc (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
  61. A room where you get something that was denied to you (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
  62. A room full of gold and exquisite things, from beautiful furniture to magic weapons (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
  63. A seemingly endless room where adventurers can drink a potion to grow wings and flit about to their hearts' delight (u/iriedashur)
  64. An ordinary classroom containing the adventurer's childhood friends, enemies, and their most hated teacher. Upon entering the room, the adventurer discovers that they are invisible, and free to pull pranks as they wish (u/iriedashur)
  65. A brightly colored room piled high with wrapped gifts, large and small, for the adventurers to open endlessly (u/iriedashur)
  66. A purple and black dragon named Ace who cooks you garlic bread and cake. (u/sanorace)
  67. A magic pair of goggles/glasses that simulate any “What if” question you pose to them. (u/lewiscann)
  68. A magical weather room where you can ask for any weather for your pleasure (I love listening to rain) (u/lewiscann)
  69. A room full of lounges with a floating slow burning piece of wood that warms the whole area, the piece of wood is so large you can see the flame spread through this piece of wood forever (u/lewiscann)
  70. A room where you can bite your fingernails and they grow back instantly ( so you can bite them some more )(u/razenastie)
  71. A room with incredibly weakened versions of powerful monsters. (u/Your_InsideMan)
  72. A vast room on wooden sculptures, oil, and torches. (u/Your_InsideMan)
  73. A zoo of sentient races (u/Paralytica)
  74. A collection of legendary heroes magically transfixed in blocks of ice. (u/Paralytica)
  75. Palanquin rentals (u/Paralytica)
  76. A booth that will remake your face whilst in the palace (ostensibly to make you more beautiful but it could be used for anything) (u/Paralytica)
  77. A magic chair that gives really good back massages (u/TenNinetythree)
  78. A playground where the slides and carousels are for adults (u/TenNinetythree)
  79. A room where you become a giant and can destroy cities and fortresses kaiju style. (u/Paralytica)
  80. Drug Olympics. A room with every drug imaginable to try. Leaving the room cleanses you of their effects. (u/Skitsafrit)
  81. No Pauses. A room that has the effect of making all conversations flow perfectly. No silence stretches too long, no one mishears you, and every topic segways perfectly into the next. (u/Skitsafrit)
  82. Deprivation Room. The room is so absolutely featureless and quiet, that you can meditate magnitudes better here than anywhere else. (u/Skitsafrit)
  83. A games room where you play against your perfect match (u/Nesurame)
  84. Similar to the previous, a games room where you're matched against nothing but weaker opponents (u/Nesurame)
  85. A smoky, dreamweed hookah lounge (u/reallyenjoyscarbs)
  86. A heist simulator where you always get away with the big diamond, chest, etc (thrill of theft) (u/reallyenjoyscarbs)
  87. A sauna room with a central pillar. Inside the pillar is a chamber containing a magic stone which can detect the exact temperature preferences of those inside, and making each person feel said preference. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
  88. An oval-shaped room with countless glass lotion bottles, with each smelling better than the last. If you look for a specific scent (no matter how rare), you'll certainly find it with the help of a goblin near the back of the room. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
  89. A room that consists of A bunch of mortals so utterly jaded from years of plesure seeking that they need the hardest of drugs and the wildest of sensations to feel anything,with lesser demons feeding on their pursuit of euphoria. Think the emperors children from warhammer 40k. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
  90. A buffet of the lids of yogurt/pudding cups to lick. (u/Hunter37594)
  91. An olfactory room that reads your memories and replicates smells that remind you of your most joyous moments. (u/lecorbusianus)
  92. A wildlife reserve for Druids to find new and exotic wild shapes. (u/lecorbusianus)
  93. A room with musical instruments that you're able to master immediately. (u/lecorbusianus)
  94. Zero gravity obstacle course. (u/lecorbusianus)
  95. A cooking class taught by a master chef that always seems to have enough time to guide you one-on-one. (u/lecorbusianus)
  96. An enchanter who allows you to relieve the best moments of your life over and over again. (u/lecorbusianus)
  97. An illusionary room that brings up past experiences and let’s you make different choices to fix mistakes or win arguments. (u/The_Rhibo)
  98. A murder simulator to allow an individual to live out the fantasy of killing that special someone. (u/Brann_The_Kid)
  99. A library full of blackmail and secret knowledge regarding historical and political figures. A conniving, plotting character’s dream! (u/MoonlightMancer)
  100. A room where you can see colors that shouldn't exist. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
  101. A room with a creature in a dark robe sitting at a table covered in maps and dice. He helps you play a strange game where you and your party make up characters that go on adventures while the robed creature acts as all of the other characters and determines new events. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
  102. ...
submitted by Quantext609 to d100 [link] [comments]

At my old job working at a casino. Every time we open a slot machine we have to write down our names, time, and reason. Red means Technicians.

At my old job working at a casino. Every time we open a slot machine we have to write down our names, time, and reason. Red means Technicians. submitted by JeffBoyRd33 to funny [link] [comments]

[USA] [H] Over 300 games! [W] Paypal

Shipping is going to be $5. Feel free to bundle games together for better prices. I am happy to provide any pictures if requested!

B C D
**1** product-name console-name Price
**2** Pokemon Blue GameBoy 25
**3** Backyard Basketball GameBoy Advance 5
**4** Backyard Football GameBoy Advance 5
**5** Backyard Football 2006 GameBoy Advance 4
**6** Backyard Hockey GameBoy Advance 6
**7** Donkey Kong Country GameBoy Advance 14
**8** Dragon Ball Z Supersonic Warriors GameBoy Advance 11
**9** Dragon Ball Z Taiketsu GameBoy Advance 6
**10** Fire Pro Wrestling 2 GameBoy Advance 25
**11** Golden Nugget Casino GameBoy Advance 3
**12** Madden 2002 GameBoy Advance 4
**13** Mario Golf Advance Tour GameBoy Advance 20
**14** Mario Kart Super Circuit GameBoy Advance 13
**15** Monster Trucks Quad Fury Double Pack GameBoy Advance 4
**16** Power Rangers SPD GameBoy Advance 6
**17** Road Rash Jailbreak GameBoy Advance 8
**18** Shrek Hassle in the Castle GameBoy Advance 5
**19** Soccer Mania GameBoy Advance 4
**20** SpongeBob SquarePants Revenge of the Flying Dutchman GameBoy Advance 6
**21** Super Monkey Ball Jr. GameBoy Advance 6
**22** Teen Titans GameBoy Advance 10
**23** Texas Hold Em Poker GameBoy Advance 3
**24** Tony Hawk 4 GameBoy Advance 6
**25** WWE Road To WrestleMania X8 GameBoy Advance 8
**26** WWF Road to Wrestlemania GameBoy Advance 8
**27** NBA Showtime GameBoy Color 5
**28** Scooby Doo Classic Creep Capers GameBoy Color 7
**29** Sesame Street Sports GameBoy Color 6
**30** Turok Rage Wars GameBoy Color 8
**31** Turok Rage Wars GameBoy Color 8
**32** WWF Betrayal GameBoy Color 11
**33** Backyard Baseball Gamecube 13
**34** Backyard Football Gamecube 5
**35** Freestyle Street Soccer Gamecube 5
**36** Harry Potter Prisoner of Azkaban Gamecube 9
**37** Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup Gamecube 7
**38** Lord of the Rings Return of the King Gamecube 10
**39** Mario Party 7 Gamecube 50
**40** NHL 06 Gamecube 4
**41** Outlaw Golf Gamecube 5
**42** Super Mario Sunshine Gamecube 63
**43** Super Monkey Ball Adventure Gamecube 18
**44** Swingerz Golf Gamecube 5
**45** WWE Crush Hour Gamecube 8
**46** WWE Wrestlemania X8 Gamecube 9
**47** Arch Rivals NES 8
**48** Jeopardy 25th Anniversary NES 5
**49** Wheel of Fortune NES 6
**50** WWF Wrestlemania NES 8
**51** WWF Wrestlemania Steel Cage Challenge NES 9
**52** Mario Kart 7 Nintendo 3DS 13
**53** Pokemon Rumble Blast Nintendo 3DS 10
**54** Super Mario 3D Land Nintendo 3DS 11
**55** FOX Sports College Hoops '99 Nintendo 64 6
**56** Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside Nintendo 64 10
**57** Madden Football 64 Nintendo 64 10
**58** Mike Piazza's Strike Zone Nintendo 64 7
**59** NBA In the Zone '98 Nintendo 64 3
**60** NBA Jam 2000 Nintendo 64 18
**61** Pokemon Snap Nintendo 64 24
**62** Pokemon Stadium Nintendo 64 21
**63** Super Mario 64 Nintendo 64 40
**64** Super Mario 64 Nintendo 64 40
**65** Super Smash Bros. Nintendo 64 38
**66** Voice Recognition Unit Nintendo 64 10
**67** WCW Backstage Assault Nintendo 64 10
**68** WCW Mayhem Nintendo 64 7
**69** WCW vs NWO Revenge Nintendo 64 10
**70** Wipeout Nintendo 64 7
**71** WWF No Mercy Nintendo 64 33
**72** WWF Warzone Nintendo 64 5
**73** WWF Wrestlemania 2000 Nintendo 64 15
**74** Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers Nintendo DS 5
**75** Bakugan Battle Brawlers Nintendo DS 4
**76** Big Brain Academy Nintendo DS 3
**77** Cars Nintendo DS 5
**78** Chaotic: Shadow Warriors Nintendo DS 4
**79** Club Penguin Elite Penguin Force: Herbert's Revenge Nintendo DS 4
**80** DaGeDar Nintendo DS 3
**81** Deal or No Deal Nintendo DS 3
**82** Fab 5 Soccer Nintendo DS 5
**83** Johnny Test Nintendo DS 9
**84** Mario and Sonic Olympic Winter Games Nintendo DS 6
**85** Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Nintendo DS 10
**86** Mario Party DS Nintendo DS 12
**87** Metroid Prime Hunters Nintendo DS 8
**88** Micro Machines V4 Nintendo DS 6
**89** Monster Jam: Path of Destruction Nintendo DS 6
**90** New Super Mario Bros Nintendo DS 12
**91** Pokemon SoulSilver Version Nintendo DS 87
**92** Power Play Pool Nintendo DS 4
**93** Rubik's World Nintendo DS 3
**94** Sonic Classic Collection Nintendo DS 12
**95** Sonic Colors Nintendo DS 11
**96** Tecmo Bowl Kickoff Nintendo DS 9
**97** Yoshi's Island DS Nintendo DS 13
**98** 102 Dalmatians Puppies to the Rescue Playstation 12
**99** ATV Quad Power Racing Playstation 3
**100** Crash Bash Playstation 15
**101** CTR Crash Team Racing Playstation 17
**102** Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Battle 22 Playstation 5
**103** Dukes of Hazzard Racing for Home Playstation 5
**104** FIFA 2003 Playstation 5
**105** Knockout Kings 2000 Playstation 4
**106** MLB 2003 Playstation 4
**107** Rocket Power Team Rocket Rescue Playstation 4
**108** Tekken 3 Playstation 17
**109** Treasure Planet Playstation 6
**110** WWF Smackdown 2: Know Your Role Playstation 10
**111** All-Star Baseball 2005 Playstation 2 4
**112** American Chopper 2 Full Throttle Playstation 2 4
**113** Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? Make the Grade Playstation 2 3
**114** Arena Football Playstation 2 4
**115** Backyard Baseball 09 Playstation 2 4
**116** Backyard Baseball 2007 Playstation 2 4
**117** Backyard Basketball Playstation 2 5
**118** Backyard Football Playstation 2 5
**119** Backyard Football 09 Playstation 2 4
**120** Backyard Wrestling Playstation 2 9
**121** Ben 10 Protector of Earth Playstation 2 5
**122** Burnout Dominator Playstation 2 6
**123** Cabela's Outdoor Adventures Playstation 2 4
**124** Call of Duty Finest Hour Playstation 2 5
**125** College Hoops 2K7 Playstation 2 5
**126** Crash Bandicoot The Wrath of Cortex Playstation 2 12
**127** Crash Twinsanity Playstation 2 10
**128** Duel Masters Playstation 2 5
**129** ESPN NBA 2K5 Playstation 2 3
**130** ESPN NFL 2K5 Playstation 2 10
**131** Fantastic 4 Playstation 2 4
**132** FIFA 08 Playstation 2 5
**133** FIFA 2004 Playstation 2 4
**134** Gran Turismo 4 Playstation 2 6
**135** Greg Hastings Tournament Paintball Maxed Playstation 2 4
**136** High Heat Baseball 2004 Playstation 2 4
**137** High Rollers Casino Playstation 2 3
**138** Hot Shots Tennis Playstation 2 4
**139** Legends of Wrestling Playstation 2 5
**140** Lord of the Rings Third Age Playstation 2 8
**141** Lord of the Rings Two Towers Playstation 2 5
**142** Madden 2006 Playstation 2 3
**143** Madden 2007 Playstation 2 3
**144** Madden NFL 10 Playstation 2 6
**145** Major League Baseball 2K5 Playstation 2 3
**146** Major League Baseball 2K9 Playstation 2 3
**147** Midnight Club 3 Dub Edition Playstation 2 17
**148** MLB 06 The Show Playstation 2 4
**149** MLB 08 The Show Playstation 2 3
**150** NASCAR Chase for the Cup 2005 Playstation 2 6
**151** NASCAR Thunder 2003 Playstation 2 4
**152** NBA 2K10 Playstation 2 6
**153** NBA Live 2004 Playstation 2 3
**154** NBA Live 2005 Playstation 2 4
**155** NBA Live 2006 Playstation 2 4
**156** NBA Live 2007 Playstation 2 3
**157** NBA Shootout 2003 Playstation 2 4
**158** NBA Street Playstation 2 10
**159** NBA Street [Greatest Hits] Playstation 2 7
**160** NBA Street Vol 3 Playstation 2 16
**161** NCAA Basketball 09 Playstation 2 11
**162** NCAA Football 2006 Playstation 2 9
**163** NCAA March Madness 2004 Playstation 2 4
**164** Need for Speed Most Wanted Playstation 2 10
**165** Need for Speed Underground Playstation 2 9
**166** Need for Speed Underground 2 Playstation 2 11
**167** NFL Gameday 2003 Playstation 2 4
**168** NHL Hitz Pro Playstation 2 8
**169** Pimp My Ride Playstation 2 5
**170** ProStroke Golf Playstation 2 3
**171** Road Trip Playstation 2 12
**172** SOCOM US Navy Seals Playstation 2 4
**173** SOCOM US Navy Seals [Greatest Hits] Playstation 2 3
**174** Spy Hunter Nowhere to Run Playstation 2 5
**175** Stacked With Daniel Negreanu Playstation 2 3
**176** Test Drive Unlimited Playstation 2 7
**177** Tiger Woods 2004 Playstation 2 4
**178** Tiger Woods 2006 Playstation 2 2
**179** Tiger Woods 2006 Playstation 2 3
**180** TNA Impact Playstation 2 5
**181** Ultimate Board Game Collection Playstation 2 3
**182** World Championship Paintball Playstation 2 5
**183** World Series Of Poker 2008 Playstation 2 3
**184** WWE Smackdown Shut Your Mouth Playstation 2 13
**185** WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2006 Playstation 2 13
**186** WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 Playstation 2 8
**187** WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2009 Playstation 2 8
**188** WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 Playstation 2 8
**189** WWF Smackdown Just Bring It Playstation 2 8
**190** 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Playstation 3 4
**191** Batman: Arkham Asylum Playstation 3 5
**192** Batman: Arkham Asylum [Game of the Year] Playstation 3 5
**193** Batman: Arkham City Playstation 3 5
**194** Battlefield 3 Limited Edition Playstation 3 3
**195** Battlefield: Bad Company Playstation 3 4
**196** Blazing Angels Squadrons of WWII Playstation 3 5
**197** Call of Duty 3 Playstation 3 9
**198** Dead Space 2 [Limited Edition] Playstation 3 9
**199** Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion Game of the Year [Greatest Hits] Playstation 3 8
**200** End War Playstation 3 5
**201** Fast and the Furious: Showdown Playstation 3 10
**202** FIFA Soccer 11 Playstation 3 4
**203** FIFA Soccer 13 Playstation 3 5
**204** FIFA Street Playstation 3 7
**205** Fight Night Round 4 [Greatest Hits] Playstation 3 10
**206** God of War Collection [Greatest Hits] Playstation 3 9
**207** Gran Turismo 5 [XL Edition] Playstation 3 7
**208** Grand Slam Tennis 2 Playstation 3 7
**209** Infamous Playstation 3 5
**210** L.A. Noire Playstation 3 5
**211** Lord of the Rings Conquest Playstation 3 9
**212** Madden NFL 11 Playstation 3 4
**213** Madden NFL 12 Playstation 3 4
**214** Madden NFL 25 Playstation 3 5
**215** MLB 10 The Show Playstation 3 4
**216** MLB 12: The Show Playstation 3 4
**217** NBA 2K11 Playstation 3 6
**218** NCAA Football 14 Playstation 3 105
**219** Need for Speed Most Wanted Limited Edition Playstation 3 9
**220** NHL 09 Playstation 3 4
**221** Rainbow Six Vegas Playstation 3 5
**222** The Beatles: Rock Band Playstation 3 6
**223** Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Playstation 3 4
**224** Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Playstation 3 5
**225** Uncharted Drake's Fortune [Greatest Hits] Playstation 3 3
**226** WWE '12 Playstation 3 7
**227** WWE '13 Playstation 3 9
**228** WWE 2K14 Playstation 3 13
**229** WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 Playstation 3 12
**230** Arch Rivals Sega Genesis 7
**231** Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf Sega Genesis 5
**232** Batman Returns Sega Genesis 10
**233** Bulls vs Lakers and the NBA Playoffs Sega Genesis 3
**234** College Football USA 96 Sega Genesis 3
**235** FIFA International Soccer Sega Genesis 5
**236** Madden 97 Sega Genesis 5
**237** Madden NFL '94 Sega Genesis 6
**238** NBA Live 96 Sega Genesis 5
**239** NHL 95 Sega Genesis 6
**240** NHLPA Hockey '93 Sega Genesis 6
**241** RBI Baseball 94 Sega Genesis 7
**242** Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Sega Genesis 5
**243** Sports Talk Baseball Sega Genesis 6
**244** Sports Talk Football '93 Starring Joe Montana Sega Genesis 4
**245** Taz-Mania Sega Genesis 8
**246** WWF Raw Sega Genesis 10
**247** Illusion of Gaia Super Nintendo 22
**248** Madden 97 Super Nintendo 3
**249** Mortal Kombat 3 Super Nintendo 14
**250** NBA Live 95 Super Nintendo 5
**251** NBA Live 96 Super Nintendo 5
**252** Street Fighter II Super Nintendo 12
**253** Super Mario World Super Nintendo 17
**254** Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Tournament Fighters Super Nintendo 22
**255** WWF Wrestlemania Arcade Game Super Nintendo 10
**256** Zelda Link to the Past Super Nintendo 24
**257** Backyard Football '10 Wii 7
**258** Big League Sports Wii 6
**259** Deca Sports Wii 10
**260** Donkey Kong Country Returns Wii 19
**261** Fortune Street Wii 14
**262** Kidz Sports Basketball Wii 6
**263** Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games Wii 13
**264** Mario Super Sluggers Wii 14
**265** MLB Power Pros Wii 5
**266** MLB Power Pros 2008 Wii 8
**267** New Play Control: Donkey Kong Jungle Beat Wii 16
**268** Wii Play Wii 7
**269** Wii Sports Wii 22
**270** Wii Sports Resort Wii 25
**271** Cabela's Deer Hunt 2004 Xbox 3
**272** Digimon World 4 Xbox 8
**273** Dragon Ball Z Sagas Xbox 6
**274** FIFA Street Xbox 6
**275** Finding Nemo Xbox 4
**276** Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events Xbox 3
**277** Major League Baseball 2K5 Xbox 4
**278** Midnight Club 2 Xbox 4
**279** Monster Garage Xbox 3
**280** NBA Inside Drive 2003 Xbox 3
**281** NBA Inside Drive 2004 Xbox 3
**282** NBA Inside Drive 2004 Xbox 5
**283** NBA Street Vol 2 Xbox 8
**284** NCAA Football 2005 Xbox 3
**285** NCAA Football 2007 Xbox 5
**286** Outlaw Golf: 9 More Holes of X-Mas Xbox 4
**287** Outlaw Volleyball Xbox 4
**288** Project Gotham Racing Xbox 4
**289** Showdown Legends of Wrestling Xbox 7
**290** The Simpsons Road Rage Xbox 7
**291** Top Spin Xbox 4
**292** WWE Wrestlemania 21 Xbox 6
**293** All Pro Football 2K8 Xbox 360 19
**294** FIFA Soccer 09 Xbox 360 3
**295** Forza Motorsport 2 Xbox 360 5
**296** Halo 4 Xbox 360 5
**297** Hulk Hogan's Main Event Xbox 360 5
**298** Just Dance 3 Xbox 360 6
**299** Kinect Adventures Xbox 360 3
**300** Madden 2008 Xbox 360 4
**301** Madden 2009 Xbox 360 3
**302** Madden NFL 13 Xbox 360 3
**303** Mass Effect Xbox 360 5
**304** Mass Effect 2 Xbox 360 5
**305** NBA Ballers Chosen One Xbox 360 6
**306** NBA Live 09 Xbox 360 4
**307** Need for Speed Prostreet Xbox 360 8
**308** NFL Head Coach 2009 Xbox 360 22
**309** Project Gotham Racing 3 [Platinum Hits] Xbox 360 7
**310** Sonic the Hedgehog Xbox 360 15
**311** Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13 Xbox 360 10
**312** UFC 2009 Undisputed Xbox 360 4
**313** WWE Legends of WrestleMania Xbox 360 11
**314** FIFA 18 Xbox One 5
**315** Madden NFL 18 Xbox One 5
**316** NBA 2K16 Xbox One 3
**317** NBA 2K18 Xbox One 4
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